Bad At Love | Halsey

I Need Someone

We spend a while in silence, picking at our salads until Becca finally arrives with the rest of our food. Even in our bad moods, we can't deny how hungry we are.

We start eating, and the tension in the air seems to slowly dissipate.

"Thank you," Ash suddenly says, I put my fork down.

"For what?" I ask, and she looks to me.

"Stopping me."

"Oh," I reply simply, not really knowing what to say.

"I would have probably gone off to meet him, and who knows what would have happened?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so lucky to have you," she says, making my heart skip a beat.

I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything. She smiles at me before going back to her food.

After a moment, she looks to me again. "He really was abusing me."

I blink, not understanding her words. It takes me a minute to process what she's saying.

"Oh Ash," I say softly, and she looks down. She looks so fragile.

"I don't know. I figured he loved me. He kept saying it," she responds. "I still don't want to leave him," she admits.

"You have to. He's not good for you," I say quickly, and she nods.

"I know. But I still love him."

I can't really fully understand how you can love someone who abused you so much. I mean, there's hurting someone and then there's abusing someone. But then again, Stockholm syndrome does exist.

"You have to leave him," I tell her, and she lets out a breath.

Instead of responding, she stabs at a tomato in her salad, as if it were the object of her rage. She looks almost irritated now. I don't know if she's mad at me, Grant, herself, or a mix of everyone and everything.

"I'm here for you, you know," I say, and she looks up again, meeting my eyes. Her hazel eyes are filled with sadness, and I feel my heart clench. I hate to see her this way.

"I know, but I can't leave him."

"Why can't you leave him?" I press.

She doesn't reply, only looking down.

"Ashley, please," I plead, reaching for her hand.

She lets me take it, and I feel incredibly grateful. I squeeze her hand gently, and she meets my eyes.

"I just...I need someone," she whispers, and it takes me a moment to understand. She needs someone. She needs to be with someone.

"Does that mean that you're scared to lose him?" I ask softly, and she nods. "But you have me."

"It's not the same," she replies, and I purse my lips.

"You'll be fine without him. I'm here for you."

She doesn't answer, only looking slightly up and blinking, as if she's trying not to cry. She brushes her blue hair over her shoulder and lets out a sigh.

"I need to go talk to him," she starts, trying to pull away from me. I tighten my grip, not willing to let her go.

"No. Unless you're going to him to break up with him, no," I say, and she scowls.

"I need him."

"No, you don't. You don't need that piece of shit. I'm here for you."

"But you're my friend. It's not the same."

"If you want me to be more than your friend, I would be happy to do that," I blurt out before I can even process what I'm saying.

"You what?" she asks, her hazel eyes widening in shock.

"Yeah," I say awkwardly. "I could be your girlfriend." I let out a breath. "I honestly don't care—I just want you to be okay."

"I've never thought about you like that..." she trails off, sounding a bit embarrassed. Oh why did I have to open my big mouth?

"I've never thought of you like that, either," I say, but it's not exactly the whole truth. I've thought about her a few times. Just a few. Not many.

"I don't know, Lolo. You know I love you, but just...as a friend. Wouldn't it be weird?" she asks, meeting my eyes.

"Weirder than this?" I respond, squeezing her hand gently.

"Okay, you got me there," she replies, laughing lightly.

"I just want you to get away from him. He's not good for you," I say after a moment.

"I know. I'm just scared," she admits.

"Ashley. You're a fucking badass bitch. What are you doing getting pulled down by that dickweed?" I demand, making her laugh again.

"I don't know. I'm sorry," she says, and I let out a breath.

"You can do this. Come on, after this, I'm taking you to break up with him."

"I can't—"

"Ashley." I look at her, and she stares at me. We have a silent standoff, and it feels like forever passes until she finally slumps her shoulders in defeat.

"Fine."

A/N

finally getting things moving

I really want to make things move slowlyyyy at an appropriate pace bc I'm so impatient and go so fast with these things