Bad At Love | Halsey

Sorry

"Ashley."

"Lauren."

"Can we talk?" I ask, and she narrows her eyes. She'd answered the door, at least. It seems that Grant isn't home, so that's a good thing. I can see some bruises on her skin, and I feel my heart clench at the sight. She looks sickly, almost. Her glow is completely gone, and it looks like she hasn't washed her hair in weeks.

"No," she says after what feels like forever.

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Can't you see what he's doing to you?"

"Just leave," she says, starting to close the door. I put my foot out so she can't close it. "Lauren," she warns, but I push my way through the door.

"Listen to me, Ash," I demand, looking at her. She tries to turn around and leave, but I grab her wrist and make her turn to me. She winces, and I loosen my grip but don't let go.

"I don't want to hear what you have to say."

"Don't be stupid," I snap. "Do you realize what you're doing? What you're doing to yourself? What you're doing to me?"

"Why should I care about what you're feeling? You're the one who forced me out."

Is she really this thick? "Ashley. Do you not remember why I forced you out?" I hiss, and she narrows her eyes. "You fucking cheated on me. All the fucking time, all I ever do is care about you. Fuck, that's what I'm doing now. Do you even deserve this?"

"You hurt me when I needed you the most, Lauren," she says lowly, her face expressionless.

"Well, you've been hurting me ever since you started dating Grant," I retort, not even feeling sorry. "What am I doing?" I would be so much better off with Mani. What am I doing with my life? This is the fucking definition of insanity. I keep trying with her, but every single time, I get fucked over in one way or another.

"I don't know what the fuck you're doing," she spits bitterly.

"I'm being your fucking bitch and taking all of your bullshit even though I know I don't deserve it!" I glare at her, and she stares me down.

"Maybe you do deserve it," she counters. "You're not perfect, you know, contrary to your own opinion."

"I know I'm not fucking perfect, but I don't deserve your bullshit, Ashley. And you know it."

"Then why do you keep coming back to me? If you're so sick of me and my bullshit, why don't you just leave me the fuck alone?"

"Because I'm in love with you, that's why!" I yell before I can stop myself.

It takes us both by surprise. She didn't expect that, and honestly, neither did I.

She's rendered speechless. Her eyes are widened slightly, and I look into them. Deep down, she's still the same Ashley I know and love. It's just hidden under this manipulated and used exterior.

Before I know what's happening, her lips are on mine. Neither of us are thinking rationally, but it doesn't even matter. This is just how we are. Impulsive. Irrational.

"I love you. I love you so fucking much," she breathes against my lips.

My heart beats rapidly as I tangle my hair in her blue hair. It's messy and tangled, but I don't care.

"I'm sorry," she breathes, and I bite her bottom lip. She moans softly as she pulls me closer.

"Fuck," I moan as she digs her nails into my back.

This is such a bad idea. Especially considering Grant could—

"What the fuck is going on here?"

A/N

wooooo I actually updated in a reasonable amount of time yeeee

Okay I actually finished this story and it's almost done whoops