The Truth of the Matter

Bedside Confessions

What have I done?
As I stood there looking at the man lying on the floor, my heart stopped. I had this feeling that I thought I'd never have again, love. But it was too soon for that. I couldn't be in love, not after last time. I didn't understand it.
"Killian!" I shout as I rush over to him, pushing David out of the way and placing my hands on his wound and applying pressure. "Don't you dare close your eyes, you hear me?! Look at me!" Tears were cascading down my cheeks, but I could care less at this point. Later maybe, but for now, the only thing I'm focused on is keeping this blue-eyed man that had managed to slip past my defenses, alive.
"Emma, I'm alright. I'll be okay," he says with a cough.
"Don't talk," I say sharply.
His eyes widen a bit. Damn it. I hadn't meant for it to come out that harsh. Damn my emotions for betraying me right now.
The ambulance arrives moments later and they quickly strap him to the gurney and take him to the hospital. I was going to go with him, but I was in too much shock to move.
You might be wondering why he was bleeding since he was wearing a bulletproof vest, but the bullet went under his arm, right above the vest on his right side.
David placed his hand on my shoulder in a comforting way. I looked to him in sadness and then back to the fading lights of the ambulance.
"I'll take you to your apartment so you can change, then I'll take you to the hospital, just let me tell Robin to take care of business."
As I stand next to the men's clothing, wondering what I did to deserve this punishment, someone pulls me aside.
"Emma, come on. I'll take you to the hospital." Neal. Fucking great.
"Look, David said he'd take me, so please, leave," I say nicely.
"Look Emma, I promise to take you to the hospital. I'm not who I was back then," he says gently.
With my already frayed nerves, that just made matters worse.
"You left me Neal! You were a fucking coward!"
He grabs my arm tightly.
"Don't call me a coward. You were just too blind to understand anything."
His eyes were hard and staring straight into my soul. I was terrified; I'm surprised he couldn't feel me shaking. My brain finally catches up with everything and I punch him in the jaw, hurting my hand in the process. At least he let go.

David's POV
As soon as I left Emma, I noticed someone come up behind her, but I saw a uniform so I continued on my way.
"Robin, I need to take Emma to the hospital. Can you handle everything here?"
"I can. Pardon me for asking, sir, but is there something going on between Jones and Emma?"
"I don't know, Robin. I don't know," I reply honestly.
He nods in return and then I notice his eyes trained on something. I turn that way and my eyes go wide. It was the new recruit, Neal, but it looked like he was holding Emma against her will. And if I didn't know any better, she looked scared. Maybe Jones was right. I'll have to keep an eye on both of them.
"Thank you," I say to Robin as I head in Emma and Neal's direction.
Before I can get there, I see Emma punch him, causing him to let her go.
"Officers Cassidy and Swan, what is going on here?" I ask sternly as I step out. I couldn't seem like I suspected something until I knew for sure.
"Nothing sir, just a misunderstanding," Neal replies.
Emma doesn't answer, just keeps her head down.
"Come on Emma, I'll take you to the hospital to see Killian and to check on that hand of yours."
She looks up at me in surprise and I nod down to her hand and it's then she notices the swelling.
I lead her over to the squad car and open the door for her, to which she mumbles a thanks, before getting in myself. I pull out of the still heavily guarded Macy's and head to the hospital, with a quick stop to her apartment. A few minutes into the drive I decide to risk asking about before.
"Emma, are you alright?"
"I'm fine," is her reply.
"What happened back there? I've never seen you look scared like that before," I say honestly. To be quite frank, I was scared. I'd never seen Emma like this.
"Like he said, it was a misunderstanding."
Seeing as I wasn't going to get anywhere, I stay quiet the rest of the drive. I'll talk to Mary Margaret later and see if she knows anything.
I open the door for Emma when we get there and head in to the front desk.
"Can I help you officer?" The woman asks.
"Killian Jones, just came in, bullet wound to the chest," I tell her.
"He's in surgery now. If you'll wait in the waiting room, I'll make sure you are updated when possible."
"Thank you ma'am," I respond politely. I lead Emma over to one of the chairs and she just looks so defeated. I don't know if there is something going on between she and Jones, but it looks like it.
We wait for a couple hours, getting updates every now and then. During that time, Emma gets her hand checked out. One of the bones in her hand was cracked, so they put her in a cast and said to keep it on for a few weeks. It's about three hours after we got here before the doctor comes out.
"How is he?" I ask.
"He lost quite a bit of blood, but we were able to stop the flow and get the bullet out. He got lucky. It was lodged in his shoulder, so it must have been shot upwards. It missed major arteries and blood vessels and did not affect his lungs, although he has a couple cracked ribs. All in all, he will make a full recovery. He does not need to work for at least 8 weeks, maybe more. Once cleared, he'll need therapy for his shoulder. He'll need to come in for check ups regularly. I'll release him tomorrow if everything looks well. Would you like me to take you back?"
"Please," I respond. Emma has still been silent throughout this ordeal.
We follow the doctor back to Killian's room. We walk in and he looks pretty good for what he's been through. A little sweaty and a little pale, but pretty normal otherwise. Emma cautiously goes over to the chair next to his bed.
"I'm going to get some coffee, you want anything?"
She shakes her head. I walk out and close the door, waiting on the other side. It's quiet for a few moments, but then I hear something I never thought I'd hear.
"Jones, you bastard. You had to go and get yourself shot, didn't you? You know, I still don't know if I trust you or not, but you know that, don't you? You know I have trust issues, and you don't know why, no one does. You don't push me for that information and I'm grateful for it. You told me your story, or part of it anyway. I don't know, we haven't talked about anything like that since then. To be honest, we're a lot more alike than you think. I don't know what it's like to have parents, a family. I was always the kid they gave back. I don't really understand what love is or what it means to be loved. For my entire life, I've been alone. That's how's it's always been. Take care of yourself and no one gets hurt, right? But with you, it's different. You're not like everyone else. You're unlike anyone I've met, and I try to avoid meeting people as often as possible. You put my needs above your own, which is something I've never dealt with before and it's scaring me. I know how to take care of myself and having someone else care for me, it's hard for me to accept it. It's just, you've been breaking down these walls I have around my heart and I feel open, insecure. I have these walls for a reason and I've sworn no one could get through, but then there's you. I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this is that I've grown to care about you. Your innuendos and your jokes, your smile, the way your eyes light up; it's affected me and I don't know how to handle it. And now, you're hurt because of me and I feel guilty because if it weren't for me, this wouldn't have happened. I can't lose you, Killian, because if I do, I would lose a piece of me too." As I listen outside the hall, my eyes water. I don't know much of anything about her life, but even from those vague words she just spoke, it wasn't easy. I silently walk away from the door to get my coffee.

Killian's POV
When I awoke, it wasn't what you'd actually call awake. My eyes were still closed, but I could hear and my brain was functioning. It was quiet until I heard a door open and felt a presence next to me.
"I'm going to get some coffee, you want anything?" I heard David ask.
I didn't hear a response, so I'm assuming whoever the other person was didn't want anything. The door shut again and then it went quiet for a few minutes before someone spoke. Emma. She sounded guilty and worried. I listened as she talked to me and something clicked. I would fight for her, forever. It wasn't until she got to the end that I truly knew how she felt.
"And now you're hurt because of me and feel guilty because if it weren't for me, this wouldn't have happened. I can't lose you, Killian, because if I do, I would lose a piece of me too." It goes silent again after that and my heart breaks. She may not have said I love you, but I knew it was too soon for her. This wasn't going to be easy, but I would not go down without a fight. As the medicine pulls me back under, I feel a hand against mine and my thoughts linger on the blonde beauty I'm proud to call my partner.