Undecided

7

"Want to go out tonight?" I heard Brice's voice and turned to find him next to me. I was waiting for the barista to bring my coffee. It had been a bit difficult for her to get my order, it took her 3 tries to hear what I was saying. I was used to it; sometimes my handsomeness could make it difficult to concentrate.

"No, I am so fucking tired, Brice," I turned to find my coffee and the barista smiling. I smiled, winked and panties were dropped. "Thank you, honey,"

"How do you do it?" asked Brice as we walked together to the car. "I have no idea," I said while searching for the car keys on my backpack "hold this," I gave him the coffee.

"See what I'm talking about?" he said holding the cup and I smiled. Alex, it seemed, had written her phone number on my coffee cup. "Are you calling her?" He asked as I took my cup back and we both got in the car.

"No, I don't think so," I shook my head and turned the ignition on.

"Why?" of course he would call her. Like I said before, he wasn't very thorough with his search of girls.

"She has a job, she's interested in her future and education," I shrugged. Brice didn't know my go to qualities.

"So? She might still have time to party... Does this have anything to do with Hannah?"

"No? Why would anything have to do with Hannah?" Even I had to admit my voice didn't sound nonchalant.

"I saw you guys talking during lunch," he shrugged.

"No, she wants a tutor for Biology. She is in my class," Yes, Marcus, please, play it down.

"So you just aren't feeling the coffee chick," Good, he went back to the girl. What was her name?

"Nope, I'll get numbers on the weekend," With that Brice was finally quiet and I had time to think about Hannah because, of course, that was my hobby now.

I heard today that if I want to get you as my TA I have to apply really early. Quite popular yourself. I read the text and smiled to myself. I hated myself. I swore that I would be giggling like a highschooler any minute now.

I had been reading ahead of some of my classes because I knew that once the tutoring and reading sessions and lab, so many labs,came the workload wouldn't let me keep up with my schoolwork. The moment my phone lit up with her name on it my whole room seemed to be on fire.

Where did you hear that? I typed as I stood up and stretched my arms a bit.

At the library today. Should I apply? If she had to ask then she hadn't realized that I would gladly clear up my tutoring schedule for her.

No, I already accepted your verbal application. I chuckled to myself.

Great!! I'll see you tomorrow. I was happy that I was alone because I knew my smile was making me look like an idiot.

See you tomorrow. I threw my phone on the bed and put my hands on my head. What the fuck was I getting into? Getting into? I was so deep that I was drowning in whatever that was.

I saw her enter the lecture hall on Thursday morning. She was wearing some ripped jeans, almost nonexistent jeans, a bright yellow sweater and converse; still, she looked like a fucking dream or my own personal nightmare. She turned around and smiled as soon as she spotted me at the very back of the class.

"Hello you," she plopped herself in the seat next to me.

"It's difficult to pay much attention from up here," I said hoping she would want to sit somewhere else but next to me. Still, I had a smile plastered on my face.

"I'm sure you can help me catch up," she put her feet up on the seat in front of her and I just nodded. That beachy flowery smell surrounded her and I was drunk on it.

"You're early," I said closing my book and looking at her.

"Yeah, I hate being late," I nodded.

"Here's my application," I heard and looked up to find what I assumed was a first year student, female student. I nodded and took it.

"You'll receive an e-mail letting you know if you had been accepted," she smiled at me but this time I didn't smile back. I didn't flirt with a girl I could be tutoring, that's low. I kept the application on my applications folder and she left.

"So the application thing was true?" Hannah asked and I nodded.

"Why?" she was chewing on a pen and I found it adorable.

"First semester as TA I got to my first lab and there were like 70 people. The place was so crowded I had to split the whole thing and, of course, I had to drop one class so I could keep up with everything," I shook my head.

"Were most of the students girls?" she asked knowingly.

"Yes," I smiled.

"How many did you sleep with?" she cocked her head like a puppy.

"None,"

"I thought we had established that I am not naïve, Marcus," she smiled and I smiled back.

"I'm telling you the truth. Remember? No sugar coating or bullshit," I shrugged "I don't flirt or sleep with my students that's also the reason I screen all the applications,"

"Oh my god!" she covered her mouth with her hand " Do you choose the ugly ones?" I had to laugh out loud at that. OUT LOUD. That was the first laugh in months!!!

"I have my criteria, Hannah," I said still between laughs.

"What's your criteria?" she asked going closer and in that second I was thankful that the class was about to start.

"Pay attention," I said looking front "I can help you but I'm no miracle worker," she smiled and looked front. I sighed because I couldn't help but feel warm and happy with her, she made me laugh, she didn't expect anything from me, she didn't want me to be a seductive man or the man that would give her the best night of her life. She liked talking and laughing and spending time with me. I wasn't used to that anymore.

The professor reminded everyone to sign up for labs, reading sessions that were more like "tell me what the fuck does that mean sessions", and tutoring. He introduced the TAs for the class, me and some other dude, and let them know about the application forms. Truth was that the whole application thing was introduced because I asked him to and he agreed. Why did the professor put up with me? I was an amazing tutor. Every student of mine passed the class with top marks. Every. Single. One. No drop outs.

Anyway, I hated when I was introduced because that meant that I had to stand up, wave like a mother fucking beauty queen, hear the gasps and giggles and stand 45 minutes receiving all the fucking applications. Why was I a TA? Well, it was extra money and once I finished the selection process it was quite rewarding. I liked it.

"You are still here," I said to Hannah while keeping all the applications on my back pack.

"I have nowhere else to be," she shrugged and I smiled at her "besides it's quite interesting to be able to witness the process," I nodded.

"Want to go for lunch?" I asked

"Yes, please!"

I didn't even think if it would be ok to go to lunch with Hannah. It felt natural and something we did all the time.