Undecided

10

"Here, one more beer and I get the feeling it will be your last one," I said putting one more beer bottle in front of Hannah!

"I'm not THAT drunk," she said and I raised an eyebrow looking at her. She was already in sweatpants and t-shirt, her hair a fucking mess, and she was trying so hard to enter her cellphone code but didn't seem to be able to. She was closing one eye in hopes of getting a clearer image of the phone.

"You are," I finally smiled and sat next to her. I was drunk as well but not as much as her.

We'd come home, drink a few beers, changed into sweatpants, played a few rounds of Mario Kart, drank some more. Laughed A LOT.

"Stop," I said taking the cell phone from her hand "what are you trying to do anyway? Alcohol and cell phones are not a good combination," I put the phone on the table.

"I thought alcohol was giving me the balls to answer a text I got a few days ago," she grabbed the beer and gave a sip

"a text?" I asked as I drank as well

"Yeah, I ignored it when I got it and now I think I can give a decent answer," she shrugged.

"I doubt that would be possible in the state we are in but we'll try. Give me the details," I said looking at her.

"It's from my ex," I felt how my drunk blood boiled from within but I nodded "he wants to know if I'm going home for the Holidays," Please don't. I nodded. "I'm not," Ok, now we were talking.

"Well, just tell him that," sounded easy.

"I can't," she drank a bit "I haven't told my family I am not going," she examined her nails "they are expecting me,"

"And if you tell him will he go and tell?" I didn't understand.

"Yeah, Jason," and he had a name "is son of my father's best friend," she turned and looked at me directly in the eye as if she knew that what she was about to say was going to destroy me "I'm suppose to marry him," what?

"What?" I voiced my thoughts. I was drunk, the filter was out the window.

"Well, they don't know I've decided not to follow the path they carved for me," Back to life "but, again, they don't know that I'm not going for the holidays either,"

"Ok, yes, it is complicated. We are drunk, we need to be sober enough to tackle this," I just nodded grabbed the phone and tossed it one of the couches far away from us. "Let's change subject,"

"Ok. I got a great one," she drank "why won't you fuck me?" I couldn't help but spit the beer on her face.

"Sorry, Sorry," I said cleaning her face with a napkin while she laughed her ass off and I laughed too.

"Seriously, Marcus," she said still laughing and I was still cleaning.

"We agreed not to fuck," I looked at her confused.

"Yeah, but you don't want to fuck me, Marcus. You want to fuck anything with legs, not me," Did I detect hurt in her eyes? Oh if she only knew.

"We are friends," I shrugged.

"You don't have female friends," One too many beers for us.

"You wanted to be friends,"

"That's true," she nodded "still you never wanted to fuck me. From the get go you didn't want to get to know me, you avoided me, you didn't want to have anything to do with me,"

"I don't want to fall in love with you Hannah," I took a sip of my beer and tried to look away because it really bothered me the way my filter seemed to be on a vacation.