The Cold Recesses of our Minds

14

"Hitler's dead."

I choke on my coffee as Richard sits in the chair, looking at the letter that was giving to him from an MP.

"Holy shit." Nixon whispers. He stands next to me in the parlour of the officers house. He leans back against the counter.

I begin to cough and Nixon Pat's my back hard, causing the liquid to miraculously go down even worse. I take another drink.

"Captain are you alright?" Richard looks at me with deep deep concern.

I finally calm my throat and stare at him.

"No but I'm done choking now if that's what you mean." I smile.

"Well it's a good thing you're not a woman Richardson, men like women who don't choke." Nixon laughs. I laugh but on the inside I'm grimacing.  Richard also grimaces.

"So, Hitler." Nixon becomes serious again. I hear the strain in his voice.

"Committed suicide. Found by the Soviet Union. The Germans are said to surrender soon."

I perk up and smile. I look to Nixon and Richard.

"Then we can go home?" I feel like an excited dog ready for a walk in the park.

Nixon sighs.

"Not that simple New Boots, the Japs are still warring against us and they're certainly kicking our asses."

"Meaning they need their best out there." Richard speaks softly.

I feel the happiness inside me fall

"Not my men." I shake my head.

This is the moment that the news became the worst news.

It wasn't sunny that day, I should've known. I should've known a darkness would come with the new light.

"Richardson, I understand how close you are with the men but they have to follow the war, as do we all." Richard speaks. His lips hardly move as I stare at them.

"I'll go tell the men." Nixon leans forward from the counter. He nods to us.

"Tell them that Hitler is dead. Nothing about the Japs." I turn to him. He slowly nods.

"You sure know how to keep up the morale." He smiles sadly and walks out of the parlour.

I wait until I hear absolute silence before I sit on the counter top.

"Fuck." I whisper and feel a lump in my throat.

Richard moves closer to me and sets his hand on my knee.

"It'll be okay." He whispers. I look at him. His eyes are full of so much emotion it could kill me.

"I can't lose my men, I can't. I can't lose them and I can't lose you. I just got you and I can't afford to lose you."

"You won't. I promise, I'll never leave you."

I smile as I feel tears stream from my eyes. I put my hand on his cheek.

I hear the front door open and I push Richard away. He stumbles back and then he hears the footsteps. He straightens up.

"If we need to fetch a medic or doctor we can." He spits out.

"It's just a little bit of pain." I try to wipe my tears away as an MP walks in.

"Major Winters, Captain Richardson, Colonel Sink would like to speak to the both of you."

Dread fills my body.

What if Colonel Sink knows what we've been up to?

I get off the counter and follow Richard out of the door. We walk outside and I see the colonel sitting in a Jeep.

"Afternoon.. gentlemen." He speaks. The pause puts me on edge. I feel like throwing up.

"Colonel Sink, I wasn't aware you would be arriving here again."

"Well I have more news for you Major, and for you Captain."

My heart thuds against my chest. Colonel Sink stares at me for a long time.

"Captain are you alright?" He speaks again.

I nod.

"Chest wound sir. Still a lot of pain." I try to gulp back the lump in my throat.

He nods slowly. He looks over to Richard.

"Anyway, Major, Easy Company will be moving out today. I want to get moving away from Germany, seeing as the Russians have most of it under occupation." He nearly​ snarls at the term Russians. "However, we will need to train soon for jungle combat."

He then looks to me.

"Captain, I'd like to speak to you privately."

"Sir?" I feel my body shake.

"Major, if you wouldn't mind go to the other officers and spreading the news." He speaks sternly to Richard. Richard looks at me, almost to say good luck before he strides away in the cloudy brisk morning. Sink looks to the MP by the truck who turns away and walks towards the officers house.

"Now that we are alone I have news for you, a very personal matter."

Fuck fuck fuck. I begin to scream in my head.

"Your mother has recently contacted me. It seems your brother was killed in a car accident back home in the states."

A bleak and dull feeling washes over my body.

"Due to the accident your mother fell extremely ill and is, sadly, not expected to recover."

The clouds turn darker overhead. A roll of thunder is faint overhead.

"You have the choice of returning home to see your mother and you would not be asked to return to the war."

Sink is sympathetic throughout his entire speech. He gives me a concern look. I must look completely untouched by what he says. He repeats himself a couple more times before I come back to reality.

"I would like to stay here." Is the only sentence formed in my head that I can push out of my lips.

Sink stares at me for a second.

"That's.... that... that'll be fine." He is shocked by my answer.

The MP returns to the Jeep.

"Ready sir?" He speaks as he climbs into the driver seat.

Sink nods slowly.

"Have a nice day sir." I smile.

The Jeep starts and drives away.

Dust kicks up in my face.

The rain starts after the Jeep is no longer in sight.

I begin to hum softly to myself, trying to block out the noises around me.

I feel Richard tug on my arm, the rain is coming down harder than before. Thunder makes the ground shake. I stand my ground in the rain.

I couldn't figure out what was making my face more wet. The rain or my tears.

Richard finally grabs my waist and pulls me inside.

I don't speak, I allow him to pull me inside.

He brings me upstairs to the office and grabs me a blanket.

He speaks to me but I hum to muffle him out.

It's only the music, the news and I.