The Cold Recesses of our Minds

7

The large room consists of a sofa, which a sick Lipton occupies, a few broken and unbroken chairs and tables.

So it's heaven compared to Bastogne. I smile as Webster talks to Lipton and then to Spiers. I hang my head so they can't see me. Another man walks in smartly. I've never seen him before. Maybe he replaced me. A sharp pain runs through my chest, I'm not sure if it's my wound or my heart crying.

I purse my lips as Nixon and Winters walk in. Both seem caught up in giving orders. I smirk slightly. At least I'm not like that. I take a second to realize I will be like that soon. I hardly even got to be a captain. Of course something like this would happen to me. I get up through the ranks and then I'm blown halfway to hell. My smirk falls as I lower my head. I don't want them to see me. I want to be dramatic I suppose. Webster asks tons of questions. I try to ignore them for the most part. Lots of shit happened while he was gone. The men won't take to him nicely. I look at the other man in the room. He is very clean looking and looks awfully young. He seems to be very experienced by the way he is at attention. I'm sure that's what we all looked like back in Georgia, but now... Now we are just a bunch of men who don't take shit from anyone. I smile promptly at how true that thought is. We all just want to end this war.

"Who's this?" He nods to the kid. I hang my head again and back away from him. Hopefully I don't draw attention to myself. The kid looks up.

"Lieutenant Jones, West Point Academy," he says sturnly. I feel a laugh come from my chest but I suppress it. Is this kid for real? Nixon laughs.

"Alright, don't hurt yourself," Nixon has a crazed smiled. I frown. Looks like Nixon has cracked a bit more since last I saw him.

"Captain Winters sir, the boys told me I should join 3 platoon," Webster says. I look away as they continue to talk. It seems so quiet here. Then again Bastogne had it's quiet times too. I look over to the sick Lipton. He coughs a bit as he listens in. His nose is red and the rest of his face is a pale. He doesn't look awful, must be an bad cold of sorts. I smile and look down. I must look strange standing here with my head down. I look over and see Webster and Jones leave. Webster makes eye contact before going out the door. I wink at him and then look up at Winters, Nixon, Spiers and Lipton. They seem tired, too tired. Winters and Nixon both look outside and Spiers seems uninterested in me. Lipton sneezes and then coughs again. I sigh softly.

"Permission to return to my previous post," I say. Lipton looks over at me. At first, he doesn't recognize me. But it only takes a second before he realizes.

"Son of a bitch," he laughs in disbelief. Now I have the other three men's attention. Nixon comes over to me. I can't tell if he wants to hug me or slap me. He holds out his hand. I take it and shake.

"Captain New Boots, it's damn good to have you back," he smiles. Spiers stands behind him.

"Lieutenant Spiers," I nod. I look over to Winters who hasn't moved an inch. His eyes fixed on me.

"Captain, I believe the boys will want to see you," is the only words Winters speaks. I nod and awkwardly smile.

"I'll be back in no time," I smile at them. They look happier now, but for how long. Do they know? Did Winters tell them?

I walk out of the building and into the lukewarm air. This town is beautiful but it looks like hell. Some buildings are blown up and glass is all over the ground. Down the way, you can see the river and the other town, where the Germans must be. I sigh. We are again, too close for comfort. I walk through the town and catch sight of Webster going into a building. I follow him into it. He doesn't see me as he walks through the building. I recognize some of the men but they don't really see me, or don't care. Webster goes upstairs. I don't trust the stairs because of the deteriorating building but I walk up them anyway. The ripped old wallpaper tells stories of men running up and down the stairs. I sigh as I get to the top and see Webster in a room full of other men. They seem to be talking in hushed tones. I walk slowly to the door. I recognize Malarkey and Liebgott right away. I stand in the door way. The men notice me and fall silent. It takes a moment for them to recognize me.

"Holy shit," Liebgott smiles and hugs me. I wasn't ready for that. Then again, Liebgott probably missed me like hell. The other men crowd around, even Webster and Jones.

"How is you survive?"

"Did you see any nurses?"

"Can we see the scars?"

"Why are you here?" A single voice says. I look over and see Malarkey standing off to the side, next to the furnace. The men disperse as I walk over to him.

"I can back for you," I smile at him, I turn around to the other men. "For all of you. You aren't going to win this war without me." I smiles at them. They all smiles back at me. Malarkey is still unsure of how to feel. I look right at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm damn sorry I left," I whisper to him.

"You weren't the only one to go," he whispers back to me.

The sudden sounds of explosions cut us off. We all walk quickly out of the room. Someone grabs my coat and leads me back down the stairs. I hear people yelling outside and other men scurrying about. We keep going down until we get to the main floor. They lead us through the parlor and down to the basement. We all huddle around in the dim basement. Some of the men laugh as the explosions shake the building. Dust falls around us. I crouch slightly as do the rest of the men. I look at their faces and wonder, how much hell did they go through without me? I look to Malarkey. He seems distant and tired and run down. As the dust particles fall I close my eyes. The explosions take me back to that night. The cold, my back hitting against the hard surface and then falling into the snow. I hear Winters whispering to me, telling me to stay awake. I feel the hot blood warm my chest and hand as I feel the hole in my chest.

I absentmindedly touch my chest and feel the bandages through my clothes. I suck in a breath. My heart thuds against my chest. I shouldn't be alive. I breath heavily as I hear people get up. I don't realize everyone's gone until someone grabs my shoulder.

"Come on Richardson," Malarkey's voice breaks into my thoughts. I look up, I feel tears in my eyes but Malarkey doesn't seem to notice. I get up and let out a breath before I rub my eyes.

"And I thought I went through hell," Malarkey says to me as we stand in the dim lighting.

"You probably did, more than I did," I laugh sadly. He shakes his head.

"I don't think so, Captain. You should have died but you pulled through, not many of us could do that," he starts to walk away. I frown and open my mouth to say something but I can't think of what to say.

Malarkey walks up the stairs and leaves me in the basement. I stand in the darkness alone. Maybe Malarkey is right, maybe I went through hell...but I feel as though this hell will only get better.

I sure hope it doesn't get worse.