The Cold Recesses of our Minds

15

My mother used to braid my long brown hair underneath the willow tree in my backyard. It was usually on a Sunday afternoon after church. She wouldn't have to work and my brother wouldn't either. She would tell me stories of my father, a man who had died in a train accident when I was only a small babe. She would watch my brother play with other boys in the neighborhood. After my hair was braided she would place dandelions in my hair. They weren't flowers but they worked even better.

My brother would occasionally bring me a stick and I would sword fight him outside of the willow branches. My mother was the princess we would have to save and I was a brave knight and my brother was a jealous knight.

Most of the time my brother would let me win. Sometimes he would whack me in the leg and I would cry but he would always apologize.

When we were teenages we went to a picture show together with his friend John. I had a huge crush on John and my brother knew it. He made John and I sit next to each other. In the middle of the picture, John held my hand. My brother fell asleep just before the end and John kissed me.

John Midton was my first kiss.

He was also the first man I ever loved.

John went off to war right after the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor. He thought my brother would follow but my brother never did.

On his last day he kissed me.

"When I come back, I'll marry you Lily."

That was the last thing I heard him say.

John died when he was accidentally shot by a fellow soldier during a training exercise while I was training in Georgia.

I thought that would be the worst heartbreak of my life.

Now I sit in a Jeep as we move out of the small town.

A town that has caused me more grief in a few short days than I thought a human being could achieve in a lifetime​.

I, Lily Richardson, had nothing to go home to.

I was alone.

I held my helmet in my lap and stared at the outside world around me.

The Jeep moved slowly but enough to get us to our next destination before dark.

I sat inbetween Richard and Nixon in the Jeep. Two other officers sat behind us.

I would occasionally turn around and catch Malarkey or Liebgott staring at me from the truck behind us.

They had been informed of my situation, being my only friends other than Richard and Nixon.

I didn't speak to them. I didn't speak to anyone.

They knew I was shocked over the news.

They didn't understand why I didn't leave.

My mother was the only thing left and I couldn't watch her die.

I couldn't bring myself to watch the last remaining member of my family die.

I just wanted to be with my new family.

The sun began to peak out of the clouds in the afternoon. Richard mutters something about reaching the new town before dark. Near Austria? Near Switzerland? I couldn't remember, and I certainly did not ask.

I began to daydream.

I imagined bringing Richard to my family, telling them the truth. I imagined my brother being abrasive but soon realizing that this man may just be the right thing for me.