Marriage and Mental Illness (Sequel to Tall Buildings and Pill Bottles)

Funerals Are For The Living

"Funerals, I'd decided, were for the living." -The Fault in Our Stars

Sherlock's POV

Olivia's funeral was only two days before the trial began, on a mid-April afternoon. It was warm and sunny, barely a cloud in the sky. The grass was bright and springy, a nice breeze drifting through the city.

And here we were, sitting in foldable lawn chairs mere rows away from the still form of a young girl. I could see Afiba and Nneoma in the front row, wiping tears from their eyes as the priest at the front continued to speak. Alice and Jack sat next to them, both still as could be. John was seated next to me, his hand resting on my knee as a quiet comfort.

It was a closed casket ceremony, to her family's request. Around me were family members, people I'd never heard of. Aunts and Uncles from Nigeria that had come at the request of Nneoma, though some had diskliked Olivia's preference for girls. They sat there, bewildered and challenged by their own beliefs when faced with the death of a adolesent.

The priest stepped down, allowing for people to come and speak. Alice stood, shakily, and walked up to the podium. Her black swing dress brushed her knees as she strode. She cleared her throat, grabbing the sides of the podium.

"Hello. I'm Alice Truby. I was Olivia's girlfriend," she began. Her eyes were watery, it was the first time I'd heard her say her name. She'd just referred to Olivia as 'she' until now.

"She was the kindest person you'd ever meet, always ready to help people even when it inconveinced her. She was smart too, a good kid, I was the girl from the wrong side of the tracks." She let out a little laugh, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"She was beautiful too, every part of her. She had the most gorgeous eyes and freckles during the summer. She was funny, had jokes to make you laugh for hours on end. But all of that is a bit surface level." She paused, looking down at the wood of the platform before continuing.

"People like to talk about it as if it was her fault. As if she'd wanted it to happen, but she was just scared, and so was I. Many of you will scoff at me, talk about how I wasn't good for her. Maybe you'll go as far as to say that Olivia would be alive if it wasn't for me. And maybe your right." Her voice cracked and she paused, swallowing harshly enough that I could see it from here.

"Maybe she would still be alive. But that's not because of me, I didn't kill her. We were happy before all this, we had plans for college and life. We knew that we were young and stood a small chance but we were ready to face that challenge. We were ready to work together for our relationship, but we were not prepared to have to face a terrorist." Her speech thickened, to the point of it being barely audible.

"I want nothing more than for this to be a dream, to wake up with a text  from her and meet her for coffee. I want nothing more than to hear her sing to me, God, her voice. It was a voice that created peace and harmony wherever it went. And it was also a voice that fought for justice, wherever it went. Olivia, " Her eyes turned to the coffin next to her. "I'll never forget you. I love you."

She stepped back down, shaking as she sat back down. People clapped, tears resting in all our eyes. A couple others spoke, giving wind to her talent, her wisdom, her kindness. Eventually, the ceremony came to an end, leaving us all to gather our thoughts as the casket was carried to her grave. It had been Alice's idea to give her a glass headstone rather than stone.

It was beautiful, azure mixing with sapphire glass, reflecting light in each way. The casket was lowered into the Earth, each one of us throwing a handful of dirt into the hole. Alice had brought a bouquet of lilacs and red roses, ones she'd picked out herself.