Krillin and 18: One Stupid Kiss

Part 1: Somber Routine

The first thing the former fighter did after entering his apartment was go straight to his bedroom and flop onto his bed, wishing he could sink into it. This was an inadvertent routine he had created. He'd come home from a long night of his shift as a bartender, and end up on his bed instead of in the shower. The only way he was able to get up was by reminding himself that he wanted to wash the stench of his customers' sake breath off his face.

Krillin rolled off his sack, kicked off his shoes, and headed to the bathroom. He did not exit the shower immediately after washing his body and hair; instead he let the multiple pellets of steaming water pound his skin. Then the minuscule man finally shut the water off and emerged from the bathroom with a sigh. After all, showers only washed away muck and grime from the skin, not regret and remorse from the soul.

After pulling on a pair boxers and shorts, Krillin crawled back into his bed. He pulled the covers up to his chest, clasped his hands behind his head, and stared at the ceiling. The ceiling that played every one of his blunders and misdeeds over and over, as if it were all part of a song he couldn't get out of his head. And every single time, it started with her.

Her shiny blonde hair that reached her shoulders. Her piercing blue eyes that seemed to soften when she looked at him. And the surprising warmth from her lips when they were pressed against his cheek. Very briefly. That was usually where the guilt kicked in. One stupid kiss, on the cheek for that matter, was all it took for Krillin to put the entire planet at risk.  Had he done what he was supposed to, the ordeal would have never happened. And she never would have had the opportunity to repudiate him at the Lookout. However, rejection paled in comparison to his very first and closest friend paying the price for his foolishness.

It hit him when he and the rest of the Z Fighters visited Chi Chi in the hospital after she had the baby. Krillin was the third one to hold Goten, after the baby's mother and his older brother, Gohan. At first Krillin was overjoyed. The infant was so happy and possessed an infectious smile just like his father. Then it clicked that he would never know his father. And it was all Krillin's fault. He gently handed Goten back to Chi Chi and slipped out of the hospital while no one was paying attention. He flew away as fast as he could and ended up in the spot where he threw a rock at Goku before the Cell Games. Once he made sure he was completely alone, he collapsed into grief.

Krillin shook himself from the reverie before he fell apart again. He did better this time; usually his other shortcomings, such as never reaching the power levels of his alien comrades, feelings of uselessness, and countless deaths, followed the hospital visit and made him feel worse.

Instead he pondered what the old crew might've been up to. The last time he'd seen any of them was at the hospital; after his breakdown he rushed to Kame house, packed all of his belongings, and left without even leaving a note. He didn't know how to explain his sorrows and his decision to leave them behind, but that didn't suppress the slight guilt he felt for pulling the rug. To this day he still wondered how Roshi and Oolong reacted when they found out he was gone. Krillin also considered the possibility that they, along with his other friends, might've been worried enough to look for him.

Krillin flung the sheets off and trudged into the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water and plopped down at a table. After downing it with one gulp like a shot of sake, he gave the room a once over. Considering he left his whole life behind, he was actually doing pretty good for himself. But that wouldn't be quite enough to cheer him up at the moment.

He rose from the table, leaving the glass on it, sulked toward his bedroom, and succumbed to sleep.