excerpts from books ill never write

four

i don't know what it is, but there's something beautiful in being reckless. it must be the carefree way of living, it must be the late nights with the windows down, music blasting from the speakers on an open road, speeding well over the legal limit. it must be the physical weight being lifted off your shoulders in a moment like that, the laughs and the smiles, or maybe it's the puffs of smoke that fill the small closet, the puffs that enter through your nose and intoxicate your brain, the ones that take you to another place, a better place.  it's the feeling of one's lips pressed against yours, the sloppy kisses you share as your bodies grind against each other, the music moving you in sync with everyone else. do you feel it? the dull ache you're getting in the middle your chest right now? that's longing, that's desire, desire for a carefree, reckless life like the one i just described. it's alright, we all feel it too.