Secret Life

Sneaking Out

If I remember correctly, the shack is sitting in a grove of trees by the small lake. I trek down there from time to time when I want to disappear for awhile; not even Eren knew about that place. I pack a bag and wait until lights out to sneak down into the kitchen for some bread and cheese. I creep out the back door and stay within the walls' shadows until I get to the trees. I zigzag to the shack keeping an eye and ear out for patrollers. I circle outside the building twice before getting the spare out from under the nearby rock. I'm about to put the key in when I hear voices approaching. I quickly hide in the shrubbery just as the voices become clearer.

"I can't believe how he just flipped like that." Petra. I wonder who she's talking to. "I mean, she's always nagging him about not doing something without her knowing or how he has to do everything with her, but -"

"Miss Petra, she went too far and she knew it." Is that... Arlert? "I'm just surprised he waited this long. He's usually very consistent, hitting her I mean." What?

"Consistent? And you think that's okay?"

"Let me put it this way: she's trying to be like Eren's mom even though she really wants to be his wife. It would be the equivalent of you plotting to marry your father because you're deeply in love with him." I don't know if I want to growl or vomit or both.

"Ew, that's disgusting."

I see them stop by a cluster of trees not far from me and within view of the shack.

"That's exactly how Eren sees it," Arlert continues. "We talked about it once before Shiganshina fell. I had thought he might've secretly liked her, but he said, 'There are only two ways that'll happen: one, she programs a clone of me; or two, she steals some sperm from my dead body, miraculously has a boy who looks exactly like me, and then marries him.' In summary, he has platonic feelings towards her, not necessarily for her." Ouch. Now I feel kinda bad for that Ackerman brat.

"Isn't that a bit harsh coming from him?"

"Only to those who've never been around the two for as long as I have. Eren was more of a loner before Mikasa became a member of his family. The one time he visited her before the murder, he had a fight with his father because he didn't want to be around her - he called her a 'creepy Peeping Pam'. His dad grounded him by forcing him to go there every day after school to visit her; Eren then announced that if she ended up pregnant, it would be his dad's fault. He was six then," he says laughing.

"It couldn't have been that bad," Petra says chuckling nervously.

"I went with him one to help rake the leaves. She thought I was a girl and cornered me in the bathroom with a pair of large scissors. She threatened to cut out my womb and breasts so that Eren would leave me and seek comfort in her arms. I was just glad her mom was at the door when she said that. Both she and Eren slapped her and told his parents." Holy fucking shit!

"Oh my god..." Oh my god indeed.

"Yeah... I think he's still a little overprotective of me because of that; the neighborhood bullies didn't help much, but I'm okay with that if it means I can keep her from coercing him into something he doesn't want."

"But you don't have to do that!" Petra says indignantly. "They should deal with it themselves!"

I vaguely see Arlert shake his head. "Again, you're on the outside looking in. The only reason he lets her nag him is because of his mom - he remembers her telling Mikasa to look out for him before..."

"Oh..."

"The whole 'relationship' issue is actually one-sided - it's her issue until she starts pressing him and doesn't take no for an answer. Which is where I come in and get her to listen."

"But why you? Why can't Eren tell her no?" Exactly what I was thinking. Sure he holds his tongue most of the time when he's around her, but I doubt he would stay silent about this.

"Because we both learned early on that no matter how many times he says no, she'll only listen to him if he says yes. Otherwise, every no she hears registers as 'not yet'."

"Wow... so she's patiently obsessed... then why hit her?"

"Easy - other than ignoring her, that's the only no from him she accepts." Holy shit.

"So their relationship is not really a sibling relationship, but there's some camaraderie?"

"Out of necessity. She's one of the best fighters he's ever met; he knows that, which is one of the reasons why he trains so hard. The less he needs to depend on her, the likelier he is to walk away from her. Simple as that."

"But what if he falls for a girl then? Is he so sure she won't hurt her like she tried to hurt you?"

"I've asked him about it. He didn't want to worry about it - it'll make him too paranoid to feel it, and she could always hang it over his head. I think that's where his mind was; he always smoked when that topic came up."

"But what set him off? I don't think her pulling the cigarette out did it," Petra points out.

Arlert is quiet for a moment before replying, "Not exactly sure either. With Mikasa involved, it could be anything. It's almost time to head back. Let's go."

I listen to them walk around to the front door and disappear inside. I wait in the bush, the cold wind stripping me of any warmth. Did my outburst trigger something deeper? When I hear their footsteps fade in the direction of the castle, I quietly slip through the door before locking and barricading it. I creep to the front door and find a note taped to it:

Heichō, Petra and I are the last of evening patrol until Hanji and Moblit come with breakfast. Blockade the doors if you need more time. I told him you're outside waiting for us to leave; please make up.

Armin

I barricade the front door for good measure and take a deep breath. I spot a small light fanning out from under a door and remember it being the bedroom. I step into the bathroom across the hall and get ready to "make up" with... Eren.