True Beauty lies Beneath the Skin (Phan)

If You Still Care, Don't Ever Let Me Know

 And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Ooh, my love was punished long ago
If you still care don't ever let me know
If you still care don't ever let me know  

After the kiss, Dan and Phil both came to the realization of how potentially horrifying it could have been for Bella to open her eyes at that moment, as she had still been sprawled out asleep on them both. So after a couple of extremely awkward laughs, Dan took Bella to her room and laid her down. This was when Phil decided he should probably get going since Dan had work in the morning and Bella had school. When he left though, Phil was feeling pretty good about himself.

Dan, however, was feeling quite the opposite.

He'd been having an internal war with himself over the whole thing ever since.

"I really should do more research on him to figure out what kind of guy he is." "But Googling him behind his back would be like snooping! I should just trust him. He seems like a good person." "How much do you want to risk Bella being exposed to things she can't handle?" "Bella, or me?" "You should be worried for yourself too! That was the first kiss you've had since you kissed Marissa before she went to work the day she died!" "She would want me to move on..." "Yes, but with someone safe, and you DON'T KNOW if Phil is safe." "I could just ask Iesha more questions about him." "She's his best friend, she's gonna be biased. Plus, she'll probably tell him that you were asking about him."

"Daddy?"

Dan opens his eyes. He hadn't been asleep, but thinking with his eyes shut. He looks over to see two big, blue eyes, staring down at him as Bella knelt down on the ground next to where Dan had been laying face down in the middle of the living room as he stressed over what to do with Phil among several other things.

"Why are you on the floor?"

"Just...thinking."

"Are you contemplating death again?"

"Do you even know what the word 'contemplating' means?"

"No, but you say it a lot."

Dan sighs, "No, I'm just...a little stressed. But I'll be okay, I promise."

Bella pauses, then shifts her position so that she's laying face down on the floor next to Dan.

Dan manages to chuckle, "What are you doing?"

Bella shrugs, "I figured you wouldn't wanna be alone. I don't like to be alone when I'm upset."

Dan smiles, "I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy."

And that was when he knew. As Dan lay on the floor with his daughter who was laying with him because she didn't want him to be alone while he was stressed even though she didn't understand why he was stressed or how laying on the floor would help him cope...he knew that he had to cherish her innocence while it lasted. Bella had been exposed to so much darkness in the world already...he wouldn't let her be exposed to any more.

So he got Bella ready, got her sent off to school, then pulled out his phone as he walked home.

The tattoo shop was open 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. and Dan usually had to be at the shop to prepare and set up between 10 and 10:30, which gave him a little bit of time in the mornings to shower, eat if there was enough food, and get ready for the day ahead. However, once he got back upstairs and connected to the wifi - the Internet from the tattoo shop reached his apartment - he went go Google.

Phil Lester.

Maybe Dan had nothing to worry about. Maybe Phil had never gotten into any kind of trouble. Maybe there wasn't anything super bad that he'd find and he could date Phil, Bella would be safe and they'd all live happily ever after. However...Dan had to be sure.