CHAOS ✔️ J.D.

humanity is humanity.

  witnessing jason in that state of mind the other day, i'll admit it was terrifying, but i've learned how to relax him. and you know how? you simply do absolutely nothing, and you don't take his words to heart.

he was only saying things that were nonsense because of his frustration, and sooner or later he would apologize and feel guilty. that's when you would come in, comforting him and calming him down.

  he went home yesterday, i pleaded him to stay, but he had told me that he had to leave. usually i could implore him desperately, but for some odd reason it hadn't worked this time. my stomach felt as if it was twisting, knowing that he was home alone with his father. i severely desired for him to be alright, anything could be happening while i just sat here. doing nothing.

  i questioned him if he wanted me to come, but he just kept blowing me off. i wasn't sure if he was enraged at me, but that was the last conclusion i could come up with. but who knows, jason dean is a man with many secrets. he has a fucked up mind, and who knows what was going on in it.

  i heard powerful knocking coming from downstairs, which instantly got me on my feet. no one ever came through the door, and whoever it was obviously weren't there for me, considering everyone i knew had to come through the window.

  i forced myself to roam over to my window, my jaw immediately dropping at the sight. two cop cars were parked in my driveway, which paralyzed me. my hand made its way up to my mouth covering it, surely i was speechless.

  andy, i swear to fucking god. he couldn't just keep his damn mouth shut, that asshole. i'm not sure whether the officers experienced me and j.d. or were just going around houses curiously, either way from head to toe my body was filled with hatred.

  i believed the best idea was to not act startled, and to just walk down there like i do 'normally.' that was utterly an obvious lie, and i wasn't sure what they were going to say to my mother, not like she would care. but maybe if i acted as if me and her were close, i could just answer their questions 'truthfully.'

  i swallowed harshly, exhaling a deep breath before gripping the door handle. my body made its way down in a steady manner, biting the inside of my lip approaching the view of my mother and an officer talking. she was evidently drunk, and i didn't understand how the cop didn't acknowledge that.

  "you must be ivy, can i speak to you outside?" the man's deep and raspy voice filling up the air surrounding us, as i pulled off the most innocent smile i could possibly do. i just nodded, my hand slipping through my dull hair while walking out of the dreadful place i considered home.

   at this point, he had been interrogating me for about twenty minutes about the suicides. just the same old questions like, "did you have anything to do with the deaths of heather chandler, and the others?" or maybe something like, "do you know any information that we don't?" the superior thing was that the cops were going around the neighborhood querying everyone else. so, it wasn't just me.

  i continuously kept my act going, all my responses saying i didn't know any of them that much so i wouldn't know anything. pure fucking lies. surprisingly he presumed i was speaking the truth, soon slipping his notes back into his pocket, our conversation coming to an end. "alright, you're free to go inside now. thank you for giving me your time."

  and that was it, all the vehicles from my home disappeared, as i was back in my room. my mother didn't question me or even make eye contact, which didn't surprise me. my body sprawled back on my bed, releasing a massive sigh of relief.

  my body curled into a ball, my arms embracing my knees. because i was up all night yesterday not getting any slumber, i was tremendously worn out. my mind was all fuzzy, and i was definitely stressed, attempting to disregard it.

  my eyes began to become heavy, my mind clearing for once. god, why couldn't this all be over with? why can't people just move on?

-

   i felt nudging on my shoulder, my eyes rapidly expanding at the sight of jason in front of me. it was about four in the morning, and why was this mysterious boy here at this time? i swear every time he appears, he always ends up startling me.

  "jason, what the fuck?" my voice not willing to go that loud, examining i had just woke me up from my slumber. he just glimpsed down at me, his eyes not being able to leave mine. i wasn't sure if he needed somewhere to stay because of his father, but i was definitely intrigued.

  "shh, ivy. you're coming with me. we are leaving." he notified, as his finger came up to my mouth. i furrowed my eyebrow, with a mystified expression approaching my face. "what do you mean?" i questioned, pulling my body up slightly from where i was placed.

  "the officers are getting fucking curious, ivy." his tone becoming more intense, as his hands raised in the air from frustration. he had a point, a brilliant one in all honesty. i've always desired leaving this hell hole, and i've been becoming to realization knowing what he meant when he said he moved place to place. he had to escape, and vanish. staying somewhere too long was not healthy for him. it was a habit.

  "just get your stuff, okay? the cars outside -" he attempted to inform me, as my words escaped out of my mouth before he could finish. "where are we gonna go?" i questioned, as he inhaled and exhaled a deep breath while sitting down beside me. his hand settled itself on mine, as he examined my image.

    "all i'm asking is for you to trust me, okay? i don't know where we will end up, except it will be far away. out of the state even. we can't have cops on the run for us, and i can't have anything happen to you. if we don't go now, it will be too fucking late. we will continue what we did here, getting our job done by making pricks disappear. that will never stop. besides, you've told me how you wanted me to stay away from my father? well this is my offer, and i'm sure as hell not leaving you here alone with your slob of a mother." he rambled on, as i squeezed his hand gently from reassurance.

"you're not angry with me?" my voice slightly cracking, as my eyes traveled down to my feet feeling guilty.

  "look at me, i'm not mad. i couldn't ever be mad at you. i was, i'll admit. but ivy, i realized that this isn't your fault. nowhere near it actually. and i'd do anything to take back all of that awful shit i said yesterday, dammit i'm such a fucking idiot. all of this started because they made you cry, i hated seeing you cry. i wanted them gone. but what the hell, i made you cry. i made you terrified. i deserve to be gone. i left last night because i felt awful, like absolute shit. maybe i deserve to be locked up, all of the things i've done, maybe even death. i hurt you." his tone basically came to mumbling during the last two sentences, i've never seen him this unstable.

  "no please, don't say that. dammit, that's not true. i'm just fine, jason. you're not alone, okay? we did this town good, we can now leave knowing others can actually escape their house without being distressed of someone harassing them. humanity is humanity, people do bad things. j-just don't say that about yourself, you're all i have left. and if you decided to make a stupid decision, i don't know what i'd do." my breathing became heavy, heartbroken hearing him say these things about his self.

  we had both done awful things, and if he was stating he didn't deserve to be here, i definitely didn't either. the worst part was, is that we gained pleasure from it. "i'll get my stuff ready." i spoke up informing him, while my feet hit the floor beginning to grab my belongings.

  he nodded, a weak disobedient smirk making it's way up to his lips. "well hurry up, sweetheart. we've got more nonsense to cause, i'll be in the car." he advised, dropping the subject, soon climbing out of the window.

    this time, it was me vanishing.

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this chapter is actually gross, okay bye. - T