CHAOS ✔️ J.D.

feelings.

jason had been driving constantly, his attention remaining on the road in front of him, seeming as if that was the only thing he was able to focus on.

part of me wasn't able to take it anymore, not because we were leaving but the fact of him being absolutely exhausted, i couldn't withstand it. his expressions appeared as him being worn out, fucking beat. like he was about to give out, and i couldn't bear it anymore.

  he was certainly drained, and i knew i was as well but i had at least gotten a small amount of sleep. he woke me up from it, and his lack of slumber was obviously affecting him. his lips were slightly parched, and i knew he wasn't able to ponder straight, and his mind was all fuzzy. if that was the case, he was practically drowning me out without being aware.

  "jason, stop the car." i insisted, which came out harder than usual, soon transformed into a demand. his eyes widened slightly, his grip never leaving the steering wheel while becoming more intense, to the point where i could see white forming on his fingertips. "i knew you'd want to go back." he murmured in a hurt tone, while his tension from his foot pushed the petal harsher. we were in the middle of fucking nowhere, and it wasn't safe to drive like this. it fucking vexed me.

  "no, that's not why, okay? j-just pull over! slow down!" i bickered, the words slipping from my mouth in a forceful manner, while my hands swinging in the air caused by frustration. before i could even let another sentence come from my mouth, he basically stomped on the brakes, my body slightly being uncontrollably jerked off my seat from the powerful force. my muscles were tense, my whole body remained stiff. 

  "goddammit, ivy! are you fucking happy now? is this what you fucking wanted?" he spat, his eyes finally off the road and traveling over to me with a feeling of hatred. he just sat there and observed me, soon glimpsing down at his hands.

i exhaled disappointingly, biting the inside of my lip harshly, doubtlessly tracing blood caused by disbelief. my head tilted back, taking in a deep breath. "if you're going to leave, go right fucking now. dammit, i said go!" the despondent boy murmured, which soon was formed into vociferating. "dammit!" he bursted, his palms slamming onto the car horn making a tremendous noise.

  "no! jason, stop this. stop assuming shit that's never going to happen. no. i never said i was going to leave, alright? its five in the damn morning, and you haven't had any fucking rest! please jason, can you simply just take a nap? for me even? that's all i'm asking." i pleaded almost despairingly, my hazel eyes meeting his clouded ones. his hands immediately gripped the keys, pulling it out of the ignition while turning off the engine.

  he swallowed firmly, his palms rubbing his sleepy eyes. once they were back in vision, he viewed me fiddling my fingers. my head was absolutely pounding, and it hasn't even been a full day.

his seat slightly reclined as his muscles loosened, his arms extending toward my presence. "come here, please?" his voice died down, as i nodded giving a miniature smile. it seemed as if no matter what this boy did to me, said, the cruel things he had done, we had done, and maybe if he even dreaded me, it was like i was caught in this fucking spell. one that was impossible to escape from. or was it something more, something i never admitted as well as jason.

something that had to do with feelings?
something i was absolutely terrified of? fuck.

  i managed my body to scoot over closer to him, as i placed my head on his lap. he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, planting a delicate kiss on my forehead. "i'm sorry, angel." he muttered comfortingly into my ear, as my hand made its way down to his giving it a gentle squeeze as they intertwined.

i shook my head in disapproval, bringing my head up while giving him an informal peck on his lips. "don't be. please just get some sleep, okay?" i whispered softly, as my hand cupped his cheek while savoring the small kiss. the boy just nodded carelessly, observing me apologetically.

  my head was soon landed back onto his lap, as his finger revolved around a strand of my hair. i sighed, slightly curling up and getting more comfortable. my eyelids became heavy on me, as i eventually drifted off to sleep.

  what the fuck was happening?
what in the hell were my feelings?

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this is really short, and i did whatever i could to make this chapter better and nothing worked so i kinda just gave up. but i promise my next chapter will be better. - T