CHAOS ✔️ J.D.

that's my girl.

before i sat down beside jason, i went over to the mirror in the bathroom and was disgusted with my appearance. my makeup was all smudged, and of course i only wore some on my eyes which is kinda the worst damn place for crying.

my dull hair was all sloppy and all tangled up from the wind, and my hazel eyes were still a tinted shade of red. i looked like i had just gotten fucking laid, goddammit. my palms still ended up having dry blood on them, as i decided to not look anymore and just wash them.

i attempted to fix myself up, by wrapping my hair up in a messy ponytail and putting on some comfortable clothes. i walked out of the bathroom back over to my bed where jason had been sitting, while placing myself beside him.

it was like me and him were on mute for a moment, almost so quiet to where i could hear our breathing. my arms soon hugged my knees, letting out a slight exhale while resting my head on my knees.

"so, you going to finally tell me what happened tonight?" his soft voice filling the air in the quieted room. i lightly nodded my head, while turning my body towards him. "i went over to ryan's house to apologize for the night at the party, and i found him and heather duke sucking on each others tongues." i responded in a heartless tone, feeling like i cried so much i couldn't anymore. nothing would come out.

jason looked over at me, anger forming in his eyes. he obviously didn't know what to say, but i always knew when he was in deep thought. always. just like that night at the party, i might not know everything about this boy, hell i didn't, but i did know what he looked like when coming up with something. and this look, was the same exact look at the party. the one i'll never forget. he shook it off, while looking at me with his eyes again, still in disgust. damn those eyes. oops.

"he fucking hurt you! that damn bastard." he shouted, nothing being able to come out of my mouth. "of course, another fucking heather screwing up everyone's life. of course." jason added, repeating his self. i sighed, scooting closer to him, while resting my head on his shoulder and hugging his arm gently.

    i bit the inside of my lip, my shoulders shrugging carelessly. "everything i keep on doing just seems to get worse, especially the people in this shitty town. i swear, i thought i could trust him. but fuck it. at the party, i did notice him looking toward them. that's when i lost it and left, and this is where it led up to." i rambled, honestly i was telling the truth.

"what the fuck am i going to do at school? what are we going to do?" i spoke up, correcting myself. he shrugged, looking down at me shaking his head. "if i knew, i would tell you ivy. the best thing we can do is to pretend none of this affects us, and we had nothing to do with it." he responded, while pulling me closer into in his direction, still resting my head.

i knew i shouldn't be thinking this but i desired revenge. i mean the type of revenge that lead up to death. you know, taking someone's life away? goddammit, what was wrong with me? i fiddled with my fingers, as the wild thoughts continued to pop up in my mind.

i swear, seeing ryan hurt and in the pain i was suffering at the moment was something i craved more than anything. whether it had to do with killing one of them, or both, i'd love to be in the presense of that. it had been quiet in the room for awhile now, as i soon felt jason's hand on mine. for comfort, i think?

"what are you thinking about?" he questioned curiously, putting his free hand through his hair. "i want ryan to suffer. i want duke dead. fuck, both of them if it makes me happy." i whispered furiously, but loud enough for him to hear me. i looked up at him, realizing he probably thought i was crazy by now. but the exact oppisite had happened. he smiled, the biggest grin i've ever seen him wear.

"ah! that's my girl." he told me deviously, kissing my forehead. i playfully rolled my eyes, i probably was a professional at that by now.

    "you're just making me more impressed each day, ivy bree."

man, this jason dean was definitely insane. oddly, making me more interested in him.