Her Fragile Heart

Running from life

the songs for this chapter are boy by little mix, good enough by little mix, unbroken by demi lovato, someone else vy miley cyrus and love money party by miley cyrus.

Selena's P.O.V

God! they don't understand! I can't take this! ok...if they were my real friends, or if they cared about me, would they try to change me? is that how it works? aren't you supposed to like the person no matter how much they change? why they change? I know what I have to do, but it will kill me...I have to run away, far away, start a new life, be surrounded by people who love me.  harry loves you, Zayn loves you, Liam does, and Louis, Niall, they all love you, don't leave, they feel like your faking, acting like this out of spite.  I am not.  "selena?" Harry...  "yes?" I whimper/sob.  "can I come in?" he asks.  should I let him in?  "I don't know, can you?" I attempt to joke, not working.  "yes...come in." I say.  he walks in.  "hey..." he greets.  "hey." I reply.  he sits next to me on the floor.  "selena...to be honest...I mean I'm not okay with how your acting, cause, this isn't you...I want you to come back, I'm sorry, I...I can't live without knowing that you aren't the one by my side...selena I love you and I can't live without you." he says sweetly.  "Harry...I want to be the way I am, I feel free, myself, please, if you cared about me, why do you want me to change? I am not acting out of spite or grief, I want to be this way...I can't do this...I have to go." I say and get up to start packing.  "go where?" he asks nervously.  "away...far away...forever." I mumble the last part.  "what?! no selena please...I'm sorry...I didn't know this was you...I thought you were faking..." he says.  "I'm not...I'm leaving." I get up, grab my 40,000 dollors in savings, since I knew what money was, and an extra bag with half my wardrobe, including shoes.  I always have this in case, when I was little I also had it, incase I wanted to leave home, I never liked my house, or family...this story is for another day...or never.  "selena, you can't leave! you can't!" he screams madly.  huh? mad?  I walk out the door, before I can Harry pulls me into him and smashes his lips against mine.  I try to push away but he's to strong.  "Harry get off...please...please get off...Harry please!" I say and push at his chest.  the next thing that happens is horrible.  "Babe-SELENA?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Zayn yells.  harry pulls away.  "Now you pull away?!" I scream at him.  "zayn-" he cuts me off.  "no...we're over." he says and walks out.  my blood boils.  "ugh! you ruinned everything! he wont even let me explain! just get away from me! your making things worse! I wish you would just leave!" I scream then instintly regret it.  he gets angry.  "NO! HARRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I'M SORRY! I WAS ANGRY!" I yell but he walks out the door.  I burst out sobbing.  no one likes me! no one cares for me! I'm worthless! I'll show them what they did.  I get three pieces of paper.

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Dear Zayn,

I'm sorry Zayn, but I love Harry.

one day you will find a great girl, that is smart, indepentent, trustworthy and beautiful...perrie.  I really like you, but I love Harry, I'm sorry it turned out this way, it will be okay, you will forget about me, I was never good for you or Harry.  tell perrie I'm sorry.  I will be honest, I liked being me, I changed for you, Harry, the boys, girls and my mom. 

please don't be mad, I couldn't take it, I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough.

        Sincerely,

                    Selena/Selly ;)

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Dear Harry,

I love you with my life, anything I've said about you was wrong, my life is fucked up, that's why I left, I can't live without you either.  I wish I didn't have to leave, but it's the best, for me, for you, for everyone, but it's not like I was worth this pain anyway, Perrie will hate me, Zayn hates me, you hate me, and I can't take it, I'm not strong, like I've said before, I'm just not strong enough, I'm weak, and done with this life.

I wish you a great life, find a girl, get married, have kids and live happily ever after...something I couldn't do, do it for me.

I love you to infinity and beyond.

                   Goodbye Hazza :)

        Sincerely,

                    Selena/Selly ;)

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Dear ma boys and girls,

I love you all,

Loubear, keep Eleanor, I approve ;)  get married, have kids, live life.

Nialler/foodbuddy/little leprechaun, you will find someone, you are going to find a great girl/demi lovato (I would totally set you guys up, btw pls show this to her) ;)  and please don't be sad, find another foodbuddy, he/she will be better.

Liam, you do the same, live life and losen up alittle, a girls gotta have fun right? right.

Eleanor, I'm sorry for being a failure of a friend, have a great life.

Demi, You were always there for me, I love you so much, your the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

Danielle, although we weren't as close as the other girls, I will still miss you...a lot, keep Lou close ;)

Perrie, I'm so sorry, I wish I could be a better friend.

You all better keep them girls/Eleanor, Perrie, and Danielle, if you dump them I will haunt you at night, chop off your balls and feed them to you! Girls, you are going to be smart, independent, successful woman, the boys? they better keep singing, otherwise I don't know ;) just kidding!

this is goodbye forever.

Sincerely,

                   Selena/Selly ;)

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I fold the pieces of paper and put them beside me on the floor in the bathroom with one with the name Harry on it, one with Zayn on it and one with Ma girls and boys on it.

I get a razor and cut slits in my wrist, I hope they're happy, they wont care anyway, I stole perrie's boyfriend, Harry hates me, Zayn hates me, my mother thinks I'm a whore...and hates me.  everyone hates me, so I'll leave...for good.  I call Harry after making a deep cut on my wrist, I feel dizzy.  "selena?" he answers.  "I love you...I hope you have a great life, with a girl who loves you and who isn't worthless, I called to say goodbye...f-forever, just remember that I love you, this is the last conversation I will ever have with someone-" he cuts me off.  "selena? what do yo-Oh my god! selena no! i-i love you! please!".  "Bye, I love you forever and always-" he hangs up and bursts through the door right after I do the deepest cut on my vain that will end it all.  "I love you." I say and let the darkness seep through.

Authors Note: hey guys, sorry the letters are slanted like that or whatever that's called, I had it on normal but my phone is fucked so...yea.  this isn't a dream or anything, it's just messed and I don't want to write the whole thing over again.  sorry it took long like I said before my phone is fucked.  I'll try to update longer and faster!

                           -Allo_234 ;)