Her Fragile Heart

You want a slut? I'll give you a slut.

just to let you guys know, its Saturday in this chapter.

Selena's P.O.V

Since everyone sees me as a slut, might as well act like it.  as a matter of fact, I'll go to the mall right now to buy crop tops and booty shorts, heels and makeup.  I dont really wear alot of makeup so I have to put a fuckload on everyday.  how do those barbie dolls do this EVERY morning?  once I'm there I buy all the shit I need and get the fuck out of there.  when I get home I put one of my new outfits on, a grey crop top with leopard prints, with no shirt underneath, pink mini skirt, and I mean showing abit of my ass mini, and black heels.  I get these bigass gold hoop earrings, lots of hard bracelets, finally, hair and makeup.  I keep my hair down with my natural waves, and cover up my acne, little that I have, put greyish blackish eyeshadow(smoky eye), blush, pink lipstick, eyeliner and mascara.  it's not that I look bad, its that I look like a desperate whore...my plans working.  I know how to act mean, so now I'm good.  next mission, getting the courage to walk out there and pretend nothings wrong.  I put a smile on my face and walk out.  when I enter the kitchen Niall's there.  he looks up and his eyes go wide.  "Selena? what are you wearing?" he asks, I just smirk and ignore him.  "Selena your not a slut." he finally caught on.  "oh really? my mom thinks so, Harry thinks so and the entire school thinks so, so how am I not?" I ask the blonde headed boy, that I desperately want to run up to cry and stay in his arms.  I dont like Niall like that, he's like a brother to me.  I need family love.  not getting any of that anytime soon.  "Harry doesn't think so, he was just pissed." he states. "yea ok Niall, believe what you want." I sarcastically reply.  "Selena don't act like that, its not you.  your not a slut, or bitch and you don't need to go to hell." he says.  "according to Harry and our school I am." I say.  "come." he says pulling me to my room.  once we enter he locks the door.  I would normally be scared, but this is Niall, the most sweetest guy I know...and my food buddy.  "Selena, stop dressing like...this, and stop acting like...that.  you're not a slut or bitch, I love you like a sister, and foodbuddy, and I don't want you to change." he says, be mean not nice.  oh I wish I could say, 'niall, I'll always be there for you and I wont dress and act like this' but I can't.  "well, to bad, the old me is gone, I let her go, people see me as a slut, they'll see that I'm not the person to fuck with, and I wont be bothered with them." I say and walk out.  I go to the living room to get my old purse to put my things in the New one.  the boys stare at me like I have two heads...good.  I smirk.  "bye!" I say walking to the door.  "where you going?" Zayn asks.  "out." I say while walking out the door.  its 10 o'clock.  See me now bitches! I felt like yelling at them, I'm not changing for long, just for now.  I go to a club.  I'm gonna stay out all night, get drunk, makeout with a random guy, dance then come home with a bottle of alcohal in my hand.  when I get there I go straight to the bar and order a shot, maybe two.

*15 shots later*

I've never drank so many shots before...I feel great.  I was offered a smoke and I thought...what the fuck, and starting to take drags from it.  when I was done a guy asked me to dance,I said yes...one thing led to another and now we are in the corner of the club making out.  not that I give two shits anymore about Harry.  we went back to dancing and I can feel his manhood against me.  I ordered a few more shots and began my night.

*four hours later*

Im going home, I decide to take a taxi, I cant afford a ticket for drunk driving!  I brought a bottle of vodka home with me, and a pack of smokes.  once im there I stumble out the elevator, to my room still holding my vodka. I take a swig then enter the house and take another swig.  the boys were awaiting my arrival.  "Selena! where the fuck were you?! we called you like seven times!" Zayn yells.  "where the fuck did you think I was?! did you think I was helping the elderly in the elderly home at two in the fucking morning?! I was out! deal with it!" I said loudly and walk to my room normally while taking swigs of vodka on my way.  I get pulled back, they are messing with me!  "leave me the fuck alone!" I yell and someone turns me around.  "Selena, why are you acting like this? its not like you." Liam asks.  "fine! I'll tell you." I say while walking to the living room to talk.  "listen up, cause I'm only gonna say this once," I began.  "everyone in the God damn fucking world thinks I'm a slut, so, why not just give em what they want? I don't give a fuck what people have to say wether for my good or bad, I was just going to be like this for awhile, but, I don't want to change back, I like it better when people don't want to fuck with me, I like it better when people judge me and I don't give a fuck, I like being out all night, having fun, drinking and shit like that,  I like my clothes and I'm not changing back, the other me cared about what people say, and how they judge me, I on the other hand dont, dont bother trying to change me, cause I wont." I say and walk away. 

*the next day*

I wake up and walk in the kitchen in booty shorts and a sports bra.  the boys are already awake and I have a fucking hangover like theres no fucking tomorrow.  I take two pills with water.  I dont feel bad, I just have a regular headache.  "feeling bad huh?" someone asks me, that someone was Louis.  "Nope, just a headache."  I say.  "Selena-" he begins but I cut off.  "call me sel." I say generally liking that name.  "Sel, I want selena back." he says, I have to resist the earge to say something to comfort him. instead I say.  "well, to bad, I'm selena now, and I'm not changing, I already told you." I say.  "be right back." I say and go to my room for a smoke.  I walk back in and light it.  I dont like them to much but it calms me.  "you can't smoke sel." he/Louis says.  "and...why not?" I ask.  "your underage." he states.  "does it look like I give a fuck?" I say.  "why arent you pissed at me? the old me would've screamed in my face telling me not to be rude." I ask.  "I'm not mad because, this isn't you, you said it yourself what selena would do." he says.  "I'm selena, Louis, let the old one go, she's not coming back." I say and walk to the living room with the smoke in my hands.  the rest of the Boys are in here and they are staring.  good, let them stare, it doesnt do anything to me either way.  I sit down and put my feet on the table.  "Sel, you shouldnt smoke." Niall says, ugh! can't they shut up? "does it look like I give a fuck Niall?" I ask in a normal tone.  "no, but its not good for you." he says.  I have to be mean, no matter how much I wanna say 'thanks for looking out for me Niall, I'll stop.' but I wont.  "I dont care." I state.  "why are you acting like such a bitch?!" Harry yells.  "I'm being a bitch? have you looked in the mirror lately?! im pretty sure your the bitch!" I yell.  "are you happy Harry?! I'm a slut! I know! and I'm okay with that!" I yell and stand to go to my room.  these boys just wont leave me the fuck alone!  there is a knock on the door, I say come in while lying on my bed taking drags from the smoke.  Niall, Louis and Liam enter.  "Selena, we really want you back, I like the old selena, trying to tape us to walls if we misbehave and stuff." Niall says.  "I'm not changing, I like myself the way I am now, I like it, I feel free, and I'm gonna stay like this." I say.  "guys, go, I want to be alone." I add and they all nod walking out.  "wait, I know why Lou isnt getting pissed, but Niall and Liam? you guys dont seem  to get mad at me." I say.  "us three have the same reason for not being pissed." Liam says.  "ok." I say and they leave.  there is another knock at the door.  "come in." I say and its Zayn.  he locks the door and sits next to me.  "yes?" I ask then he kisses me.  really?! why is he kissing me?!...eh what the fuck?  he is probably testing me, to see how far I'd go with this.  "Zayn...why are you kissing me?" I ask.  "I want you, I want to be with you." he whispers.

Authors Note: haha cliffhanger! im evil, find out what happens! btw today my grounding ends so I can do whatever I want! and by that I mean I can update every two days or so! I'll try my best and update ASAP!

                    -Alli_234 ;)