Friendzone

I'm selfish. CHAP 11

RACHEL'S P.O.V

I woke up to a toned arm wrapped around me. 

Derek's arm.

I turn around to face him and turns out he's shirtless. No we didn't have sex or anything, just made out. I guess when I was asleep he got hot and took off his shirt? I still can't believe what we did, I'm not even sure if I regret it or can't wait for more...

But Derek is no rebound, he's my bestfriend... I think he is atleast. Not sure what any of this makes us, but I don't know if I wanna get into a relationship.

I jump out of my thoughts when I hear Derek mumbling something to me,  "What?" I say smiling, he clears his throat, "Nothing, it's nothing," he flustered and I just ignored it, I didn't want him to say anything he didn't want to. I mean I am curious but... No can't do that.

I run my hand around his stomach and chest, surprised I have not ever noticed he has abs. All these summers and I didn't know? He shifts awkwardly at my touch, so I take the hint and get up but he quickly pulls me back down into a sweet kiss, "Good morning," He says smiling, I laugh and tell him I should check if my parents are home. They would think it's weird that Derek is here so early. I think it's weird he's here to be honest.

I start to walk downstairs when I've realized I don't have my phone with me, so I quickly went back, grabbed it and checked it while making my way downstairs.

3 missed calls. One from Ashley and 2 from ...

Mark tried to call me, twice? Both at around the time of 2 am. Was he drunk? Is he okay? Sigh, questions that shouldn't even matter to me keep popping up in my head. I have to remember how he lied to me, how he was going to use me just like that girl, and what he did to her... But then I think about how his lips felt on mine, how his touch felt on me. I never felt any better, not even with Derek...

I think I just used my bestfriend to get my mind off of a guy. 

I'm so horrible...

On the front door I noticed a little sticky note under a jacket I hung up, 'Business trip-3 days- Sorry honey please take care of yourself! Money's in the cookie jar, we love you!' Signed Mom and Dad. Not even a call, really? 

I go back to my room and see Derek on my laptop, "Your parents not home?"  "Nope, business trip..." I say trailing off as I look for something to change in, when I realize I won't be going anywhere anyway I decide to just stay in PJ's. 

My phone goes off, it's a text message from Mark.

'Look we should talk '

I don't respond, not even a minute later he texts me again, 

'I'm coming over . '

My heart drops, I haven't seen him in a while and I don't think I'm ready to face him.  It won't take him long to get here, probably 10 minutes if he's coming from his house. I start to panic, do I let Derek stay and deal with him? Do I make him leave so I can talk to Mark? Do I send Mark away? Psh, as if he'd let that happen.

Do I keep them both? 

I scramble in search for headphones. Finally I find them, "What?" Derek asks as I hand the headphones to him, "I have a really bad headache," I say weakily, he nods and takes the headphones and starts playing a game which I had no idea existed. Hopefully it's loud. I go downstairs and await for a door knock. Three minutes passed of me just sitting there waiting.

MARK'S P.O.V

I hope she's home.  I haven't seen Rachel in a week, it's been miserable. I arrive to her house and knock on her door. No answer. 

I knock again, she opens the door cautiously as if she's considering if she made the right choice. I hope she think's it's the right one.

She doesn't say anything, she just stands there watching me. I try to keep my mind off wondering if she has clothes under her silky light pink robe... Not the time to be thinking like this. "Hey," I say trying to step in she closes a tiny bit. Enough to tell me that she doesn't want me in.

"You.. you wanted to talk,"

"So talk..." She continues. Her fearful blue eyes stare right back at me. I hate that she's afraid of me, I'd never do anything to her... "This week has been really tough, I can't imagine what it was like for you... "

"Were you drunk when you called me?" She asks 

"No, no... Listen I get that you hate me and that I don't deserve you, but if you want time...I'll give you that-"

"If you want me to leave, I'll give you that too..." I quickly glanced up at her and say, "And if you'd ever want me, ever,  even years later-"

"I'll still be there for you." I wait for her response, but all she does is stare at the ground.

"Then I guess I'll come back in a few years," I say to myself, not knowing if shes either in her own train of thought or listening.

"No, Mark." She finally speaks, "Don't-"  she chokes on the following words, but she says them. She had to say them, "Don't come back... not tomorrow, not in a few years, ever. Because I can't see the same person I saw when you visited me constantly at the hospital, worried about somebody else...Now you're just worried about yourself."

"No, no Rachel thats not-" She shushes me, "Because if you weren't worried about yourself you wouldn't be standing at my doorway. You should be at Amber's." 

I nod, and just as I was about to leave, a figure in the background catches my eye.

"You just gonna ditch me, huh?"  Derek says laughing until he makes eye contact with me.

Automatically he storms his way to me but Rachel holds him back, "What the hell do you think you're doing here?" He says angrily.

"I don't know." I respond bluntly. The only thing I could even think about is what they did together, if he did stay the night... 

"Leave, alright? Don't you think you've done enough?"

"She hates you, Mark, just go." Rachel turns to Derek and tells him to stop, they start their own small argument but before she turns back I make sure I'm gone.