The Abused and Suicidal Host {EDITED}

XX

**3rd Person P.O.V**

As Takashi finished asking Araki to be his, Araki stood, looking lost, he held his hand up to the branches of the tree and let the squirrel scurry off his hand and onto the branch, turning to look up at the sky, he swallowed thickly "I..." he paused, his heart stuttering, feeling his eyes well up, he turned away from Takashi towards the school.

"I'm sorry Takashi... But I can't..." Araki's voice cracked, causing Takashi's eyes to widen and quickly stand up, he reached out to grab him, but before Takashi could get hold of him, Araki was walking into school, with his heart breaking more and more with every step he took, and his tears escaping his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and dropped off his chin.

Araki slowly made his way to his music room, and sat at the piano, beginning to play the melody he also began to sing, his voice cracking and tears falling:

'You were the shadow to my light
Did you feel us
Another start
You fade away
Afraid our aim is out of sight
Wanna see us
Alive

Where are you now
Where are you now
Where are you now
Was it all in my fantasy
Where are you now
Were you only imaginary
Where are you now

Atlantis
Under the sea
Under the sea
Where are you now
Another dream
The monsters running wild inside of me

I'm faded
I'm faded
So lost
I'm faded
I'm faded
So lost
I'm faded

These shallow waters, never met
What I needed
I'm letting go
A deeper dive
Eternal silence of the sea
I'm breathing
Alive

Where are you now
Where are you now

Under the bright
But faded lights
You set my heart on fire
Where are you now
Where are you now

Where are you now
Atlantis
Under the sea
Under the sea
Where are you now
Another dream
The monsters running wild inside of me

I'm faded
I'm faded
So lost
I'm faded
I'm faded
So lost
I'm faded'

When Araki finished the song he slowly got up and walked over to a corner and sat, his arms wrapped around his legs, his forehead leaning on his knees, he finally let go, sobs racked his body, causing him to shake by the force of his cries.

"I'm sorry.... *Sobs*... I'm so sorry.... *Sobs*... Takashi..." Araki repeated over and over through his sobs.

Maybe... Maybe if he wasn't so damaged he could've said yes... Maybe he could've been worthy of Takashi's love.... but the reality to Araki was that he wasn't worthy of Takashi or his love... He didn't deserve happiness... And with all those thoughts in his head, Araki's cries become louder and full of hurt.

Araki knew.... he knew he would never be happy or love someone... he wouldn't be allowed to call anyone his... he would never have what normal people had... he was broken, beyond repair...

Araki, somehow, with shaky hands and tear-filled eyes managed to correctly find Sakura's number in his phone and called it.

"Sakura... come and pick me up please..." Araki's voice hoarse and cracking hung up after getting a confirmation from his driver, Araki slowly stood on shaky legs, grabbed his things then slowly made his way out of the school towards the pickup bay area where Sakura was already waiting.

Slowly climbing into the car, he asked Sakura to drive him home.

Meanwhile, after Araki had walked away, Takashi had not moved, staring at where Araki, the love of his life, had walked away, slowly sinking to his knees and letting himself cry, he asked himself 'Is there something wrong with me?... Why couldn't he let me be his?.... All I want to do is love him...' 

After hearing the bell go, he slowly stood up and wiped away his tears, and walked to the club room with Araki's words bouncing around in his head...

"I'm sorry Takashi... But I can't..."

*********************************************************************************************************

Hey everyone!

I know it's been awhile, but I finally did it! I finally updated!! hahaha

Anywho, I'm also here baring some bad news...

This book is coming to a close, I only have about 1-2 chapters left, maybe 3.

And of course, if you guys don't like the ending that I have in my mind if you guys want me to, of course, I can write an alternative ending... but ill leave that up to you guys...

And the song is Faded by Alan Walker, its a cover by Jason Chen (His YouTube is: MusicNeverSleeps, you should go check him out, all his covers are amazing!), I used a cover because I kinda wanted it to be a male singer.

Also, a HUGE thank you too, @ToukaKen0000 whom recommended the song

Anyway, I hope you liked the update

I love you guys

XXX