The First

15.2

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the day late update... I got distracted with... err... shop stuff. *shrugs* Also, if anyone can figure out the little Easter egg I drop in this chapter for my favorite book series, I'll give them a cupcake (like, virtually...).

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02 - 16 - 2089

My gaze wavers as I search my mind for something to say. Anything to say. How can I explain my intentions? How can I explain that this is all a misunderstanding?

I catch the glance of the couple back in the living room, their own faces a mixture of confusion and sympathy. Together they fill the room with a heavy dose of awkwardness.

"Gis." Cade rests a hand on my shoulder, his grip firm. I blink, looking from his hand to his face. "Don't leave the house again." The anger has drained from him, but that doesn't change the potency of his words and what they mean.

"I thought I was free," I say at last, my voice quiet in the hopes that it will still this growing rift between us. I see myself on the edge of a cliff, and Cade is the only thing holding me back. But he's... he's letting go.

Cade goes rigid, his eyes flashing fire for a moment before they fade back to a cool blue. "You are." I open my mouth to argue, but Cade continues, cutting me off. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

Tears prick my eyes at his words, but I blink them back, forcing myself to keep a neutral face. "I'm a prisoner here."

"No, no you're not. But I want you to be safe. I can't keep you safe if you leave--"

"Stop." The fury lacing that one word as it flies from my mouth surprises even me. "You aren't listening to me." I cross my arms around the paper bag, a hint of pain lingering in my wrist as I do so. "I want to start helping. I want us to be partners in this." And then I realize how much that statement echoes the yearning in my heart. The quiet, yet firm tug I feel. I don't want to be useless. I want to make things right after so many wrong years.

I blink and focus back on the handsome face in front of me. The shock registering on his face is one I've never seen before. He doesn't know what to say, and rightly so. Neither do I.

We stare at each other as the silence grows, my brain scrambling to come up with something else to say. Cade shifts, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his pants. I sneak a glance at the couple, only to find them gone. They must have slipped away while we were arguing.

When my eyes find their way back to Cade, he's found the words to say. "Gis, I'm sorry." His hand reaches for me, his Adam's apple bobbing.

I take a step back, avoiding his outstretched hand. "I need some time, I think." I turn back to the door, setting the bag of food down on the hall rug. Cade calls my name, but I ignore him as my feet draw me to the door.

Freezing air rushes over me as I yank the door open and step outside. Cade is speaking, calling after me, but my feet continue on down the snow covered path and to the road. Everything is muffled, muted in the haze of my mind. I feel the solitude and breathe in a large gulp of air, telling myself I need this.

But do I? I don't know what to make of this world anymore. Growing up in isolation, I've never had someone I cared about as I do Cade. I've never fought with someone as I did with him. I've never felt this way before. It feels like there is a tear in my heart, and it just keeps growing.

Cade saved me. True. Cade cares about me. True. Cade wants me to be free. True?

I shake my head, imagining the thoughts flying from my mind like wisps of smoke. My breath comes out in short puffs, and I wrap my arms tighter around myself as I walk. My feet push on, though I don't know where I'm going. Only that I need to get away for a little while.

With the silence I've created in my mind, my thoughts turn to Enzo. I wonder how he's doing, if he's alright. I wonder if he's still with Gunner, or if he found someone better to work with. He was sweet, in his own way. I didn't know what to think when I was with him, but now that I look back I can see he wanted to help me.

Erggg, Gis, why can't you just think about drawing or something? I almost groan out loud, wondering when my thoughts grew to be so complicated and messy. Cade is nice, and he saved me. Enzo is nice, and he saved me. I almost scream in frustration.

I'm so entrenched in my thoughts that I barely dodge a black-cloaked man as he walks past. He mutters an obscene word at me, and I stare after him, shaking my head at my own clumsiness. As he turns the corner, I turn in a circle, trying to figure out where I am. I've walked far enough that the house is no longer in sight. The street sign says Ember Avenue, which means I am pretty much lost.

Great, Gis, now not only are you conflicted, but lost too. I debate going up to a house and asking for directions, but Cade's voice in my mind stops that idea right away. It's too dangerous, especially with everyone out looking for me.

Oh. My eyes go wide as my mouth forms an O. I turn in a slow circle, wondering how--once again-- I could be such a dunce. Everyone is looking for me. I'm wanted. And Cade wanted to keep me in the house to protect me. So no one would recognize me.

I tug on a short strand of hair, pulling until it hurts. The pain, for some strange reason, helps me focus. I allow myself a moment to consider my options and reorient myself before I begin heading back in the direction I came from. At least, I hope it's the direction I came from. I need to get back home and apologize to him. I need to tell him I understand now.

As I cross a quiet street, voices reach my ears. Several tall figures stand at the doorstep of a house a ways down, speaking to the owner of the house. I watch them, my curiosity piqued, as I head closer.

The closer I draw, the more I pick up on in their conversation. Inadvertently, of course.

"...short, thin, dark hair..." One of the men standing at the doorway is holding up something for the owner to see, a wide woman with a checkered apron on.

The woman frowns and shakes her head. "I haven't seen her. But I'll keep my eyes open."

Another man holds up a piece of paper and says, "What about him? He was seen with her on multiple occasions."

The woman again shakes her head, and I realize with a vague sense of horror that they are talking about Cade and I. I've stopped walking, only a couple yards from the house now. If I turn back now, they'll notice. But if I keep going, those men will for sure see me.

My fear of getting any closer to them wins out quickly, and I turn around, not bothering to be quiet as I hurry my footsteps in the other direction. I don't hear the sounds of pursuit as I turn down the street and allow myself a deep breath. I weave through the side streets quickly, hoping I'll stumble across the street where the couple's house is.

Those men are searching for us. That was clear enough by their words. But... they are going house to house. And they are only a few blocks away from where Cade and I are staying. If they come to where we are staying, will the couple give us away? Or what if they hear us and force their way inside?

I have no idea if they are from the government or not, but I know we can't take any chances.

The thoughts scurry through my mind and I run down the streets, the wind whipping at my face and cheeks in a cold caress. I've have to get back and warn Cade before the men reach the house.

I have to get back.

It's time for us to leave this all behind once and for all.

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