Diary of a Desperate Wife and Mother - aged 35...and a half

I Might Just Be the Luckiest Girl in the World

Saturday

I can't believe it is still Saturday, this day has been never ending! It started when I woke with thoughts of the day before when I had sipped tea with Father Joe and we both avoided the elephant in the room...an elephant I am sure he is going to insist we revisit and discuss sooner rather than later, especially now he is a permanent fixture in my local church. I smile as I think of my Mum telling me he is still too young when she came round to see Finn last night. She is suspicious of him, she doesn't know why and can't quite put her finger on it but she knows he knows something she doesn't, something about me. I never really gave much credence to 'mother's intuition' before I had kids and even then doubted it applied to my Mum and me, but clearly it does, she knows there's something.

As we left the tearooms and went our separate ways Finn actually invited him to his party and Father Joe accepted, despite my glare, maybe in spite of it and he actually turned up for it! Both Paul and I were surprised at the invitation and the acceptance because who invites their priest to their birthday party and whose priest comes to their party? Finlay Marsden and Father Joe it would seem!

I panicked first thing when I remembered my waxing appointment. I'd need to cancel because there was no way I could walk round at my son's party resembling someone who'd just ridden into town on a horse and I didn't doubt it was going to be bloody agony, during and after. When I called Gem she rather smugly informed me she had realised her error in booking and already cancelled, well not so much cancelled as rearranged for the following week and she sounded seriously smug as she told me that!

Finn's party wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, even with Monique and her celebrity husband who tried, Monique more than Mr Monique to upstage a 6 year old's party at laser quest in her designer dress that looked a size too small and her heels. All the kids and any Dads that came, including my own seemed to enjoy shooting each other in the dark and even I joined in, much to my son's pleasure...I was the only Mummy shooting people and screaming at them as I did so, which might not be as much of a compliment in hindsight as I thought it was when Finn first said it, although he wasn't witness to me shooting a boy of about 12 from a different party to the cry of 'you're dog meat pal', unlike my husband and priest! I am definitely going to hell and I am in no doubt that Saint Peter when he sees me at The Pearly Gates won't accept my defence of, 'I watched Aliens a few nights ago', and that is the phrase I used to the rather startled looking boy 'I took out'. I have to admit though he looked a bit scared.

Monique seemed a bit off, not in an ill way but an unhappy way and I felt sorry for her, especially when I saw Ned being a bit of a knob and her having absolutely no control of him which I can admit made me think that my kid might not be able to spell or read as well as Ned and he might be clumsier than the average kid, but he's a good boy, a kind boy, not a knob and he would never have defied me or spoken to me in the way Ned did to Monique. Mr Monique seemed to have a little more control over his son who cried that his team lost and told his mother he hated her, but he didn't have much more control than her.

Finn chose McDonald's for tea and now I am in bed and a little merry (3 glasses, large glasses of wine) and very hungry as a burger isn't really a meal, is it? Paul is still downstairs watching the end of a film with Martin. Scarlett and Finn are in bed and I am regurgitating my day on paper and avoiding Steven Pallister and his friend request...I will deal with it tomorrow, or Monday maybe, but for tonight I will revisit my past, just for 10 minutes.

Victoria's Diary aged 16!

We are going to France, the day has actually arrived! I can't believe that for 5 whole days I will be away from home without my parents. I know there'll be teachers but most of them are the cool ones and I will be with Steven and a few other friends, and Melissa Matthews but I heard a story about someone last year being left behind at services by accident so hopefully that will happen to her too!

My Dad dropped me off at about 4 in the morning and waited to wave. He sent me to ask the teachers a stupid question about ferries and tide times and when I was heading back to him I saw he was talking to Steven and he looked a bit nervous, Steven not my Dad. My Dad is never nervous or scared he is big and brave, except for when he is being told off by my Mum.

The coach is pulling away and I wave to my Dad, I have the window seat. Me and Steven have said we'll swap later. I also wave to Steven's parents and they wave back and then once they're all out of sight I relax back in my chair and am relieved to be leaving because this is really happening, everything we've planned for the next 5 days is finally going to happen. Steven leans in to kiss me but Miss Newton, the PE teacher sees us and calls back to remind us that we are not in the back row at The Roxy which I know means the cinema because that's what my Mum says. She's alright though, not like some PE teachers I've had but Miss Newton is quite mature and single. Some of the girls say she's gay but I don't care about that, I like her. Steven and I laugh at her words but I am a bit embarrassed when some of the others turn to look at us but not Steven, he just makes a joke about hoping they're not showing The Titanic at 'The Roxy' in case it's symbolic of our ferry crossing. Everyone laughs again, but not at us now, well except for Melissa who whispers something to her friend and then looking at me they cackle together. Yes I am now praying for her to get left at the services!

Victoria's Diary aged 35 and a Half

I have just put my diary away and decide to go and check on Finn, just to see him really, to say goodnight, again, to look down at him and wonder how on earth I got so lucky as to have such a nice natured little boy.

I check on Scarlett first though and smile at the image of her in cartoon pyjamas with a soft, fluffy cat toy snuggled in her bed beneath the duvet. I really am very lucky. Then as I move towards Finn's room it's Martin I see first as he heads for the bathroom, telling me that his Dad will be up in a minute and then he kisses me goodnight. I am very, very lucky. Once I have checked on Finn and tucked him back in with a final kiss I turn to find Paul standing in the doorway and it is then that I realise how lucky I actually am when he smiles and simply states, 'we did a pretty good job with our kids, didn't we, me and you'? And I realise he is right and when he offers me his hand to go to bed I accept it, happily.