on a journey

9:00 am

Oh! You,

I used to want to be you,

Happy, secure, loved, heard,

I used to cling on to the figments of my imagination,

Comparing it against the backdrop of my seemingly mundane existence,

I allowed myself to wallow,

In self pity,

Sometimes in self loathing,

Look at me,

Then,

Looking at you with longing eyes,

I spent my days yelling,

"You can't see me,"

"You don't see me,"

"You can't hear me,"

lol,

How inconsequential it all seems now,

Now that I realize that you must not be my audience,

I won't have to big up my chest,

Or shout,

Or beg for their attention,

Their eyes are fixed on me,

I drown in the euphoria of being a commander of my space.

Oh! You,

How I wanted to smile like you,

Run, laugh, let my hair down, roll around, be free like you,

I used to swear there was something wrong with me,

Yes!

That must be why I feel like I don't fit in with you and your crew,

I was always examining myself,

Focusing on things that made me less like you,

Things that made me want to crawl out of my own skin,

Now I've begun my journey,

Now that I feel God's love,

Do you know He makes no mistakes?

Everything I am,

Everything I was running from,

Everything that made me stay up at night crying silent tears in my pillow,

Is by His design,

Now I count myself lucky,

I still won't be your person,

Nor the one you keep in touch with,

Nor the one you consider your all,

But I'm loved by one,

That's enough fire I need,

To set my life blazing in the right direction,

Towards light,

Love,

Hope,

Peace.

Oh! You,

Look at your girl now,

Look how she glistens,

She set herself free from you,

Now look at her.

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thank you all reading and voting and commenting.

thanks for 300 reads and 100+ votes. i love reading how you guys react to my words and how you relate. you're never alone beautiful people x

also i started writing a new book, please show your girl some love. I'd love some honest opinions.

be kind to yourself and others x