happiness / m.f. x a.n.

• eleven •

Hello, hi! I'm very sorry I haven't updated shit. I was very demotivated to do anything, really. But I have some important things to tell you all!

I have two stories in my drafts now, both have the first chapter - one has nine but that's not important.

I like both of them, but I need your opinions. I will either write one of them, complete that, then move on to another.. Or, I will just discard a whole story and not even write it at all (which means the one story I'm focusing on will be much longer). You tell me in the comments.

Also, a VERY important thing; I will be ending this story at 13 chapters -including the epilogue. I know, it'll be rushed.. But I think that this story wasn't that great to start off with.

I'm not happy with it, but I want to at least finish it and then move on. I hope you all understand.

Also, LEMON. Y'all betta be ready, I haven't written smut in years. Jeez. Yes, shorter chapter too. I'm sorry.

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Mark's P.O.V.

As I watched Amy make sandwiches, I realized something. Every time I looked at her I felt.. Happiness. Empty or numb feelings didn't seem to exist.

Is that why I was so attached to her? She was the source of my happiness, wasn't she?

I put my head in my hands, rubbing my temples. I should've taken my medication for anger issues as well. But I didn't, because I hadn't taken that ever since Amy and I started dating and I was fine. I don't know what made me snap.

I was very.. Annoyed. The phone call with my mom didn't really help, either. She kept yelling at me that "I just ran away and left everyone else behind".

I sighed, shaking my head. Amy deserved better, way better. Why did she settle on me, a loser, anyway? I was just a depressed sack of shit, living through each day.

It's not like I mattered much, either. The only people who would really miss me are my family and Amy. Which makes three people.

Three people.

Are they really worth it to keep going and going for?

Are they?

I glanced at Amy, who was fast asleep in my arms. Somehow, she decided that it was "break time" after we ate our sandwiches and ended up sleeping in my arms. I stroked her back, drawing little patterns on it.

Three people.

Three reasons.

I don't know.

Was I ready to end it all? Was I ready to give up already?

I looked up at the ceiling once again, biting my lip.

Maybe I was.

At Mark's apartment, 7:32 pm. Saturday.

I think Amy could sense something was wrong with me, seeing as she kept squeezing my hand whenever she got the chance.

"Are you-"

"Amy, for the thousandth time, I'm great."

Which was a blatant lie, but she didn't have to know. I didn't want her to worry.

I pressed my lips to hers, enjoying the moment. I would do anything for her happiness.

She smiled, wrapping her arms around my neck. I let my hands slip to her waist, squeezing.