•FADED• {Jason McCann} - wattys2017

Part 19: i love you

Sunday, 16th or July/2017

Song(s) for this chapter:
Hallelujah: Bon jovi
Heaven: Bryan Adams (second half)

                               Elena's point of view

Today is now Sunday. Meaning tomorrow I start the dreaded chemo therapy.

Last night I couldn't help but think of the worst. As I laid in bed, I snuggled myself up closer to the covers. However, this time I didn't cry. I just stared blankly at my white roof.

I questioned myself, if this therapy doesn't work, will I die? Only now it has been a problem, before I couldn't care less if I were to die or not.

In fact, I wanted to die. I stood on a rusty train track. Awaiting the loud fast train to hit me, I was ready to die.

So why is now different? Why am I so scared to die? If I was ready to take my life, why do I now want to live?

This cancer is my easiest way out of things, why aren't I happy that I may have a free way out of this hell hole I call life.

Why? Why am I now wanting to live? I'll tell you why.

Jason! He's why.

He came into my life, and he's made me feel like no one has ever made me feel. He makes me feel happy, beautiful, full of joy. Whenever he is around, the pit of stomach feels millions of butterflies.

The way he calls me 'baby girl' every now and then, makes my heart melt to a liquid. The way he hugs me, and leaves small pecks to my cheek.

He's the reason to why I don't want to die. Because of him, I want to live a life. A life where I will be able to grow old with someone who loves me, a life where I'm not bullied. I want to get married and have children.

And throughout that, I want Jason by my side. He's my best friend, and the only one to not hurt and bully me.

If only everyone was like him.

After my roaming thoughts, I step out of the steaming shower, and wrap a white fluffy towel around my wet body.

I walk into my bedroom and get changed into the clothes I laid out on the bed. A pair of ripped boyfriend jeans, and a light pink spaghetti strap crop top. I slip my feet into a pair of black sandals, and walk into my bathroom to continue with getting ready.

I take my hair out from its messy bun, and brush through it before straightening it. I brush my teeth, then apply my makeup.

I squirt some elf illuminating face primer in my hand, and rub it on my face.  I squirt a small amount of the same brand foundation on my hand, and with my finger place dots around my face. I blend it in with my black brush. Once my foundation is blended I apply some clear finishing powder. Next the best part of my makeup look, contouring!

I apply the brown contour colour, from the contour trio pallet. To my nose, cheeks, and near my hairline on my forehead.

I then apply the rest of the contour pallet on my cheek. I examine it in the mirror and smile at my success on both even lining.

I add on my favourite highlight and pink passion blush, before blending it all in together. Now all that's left is my eyes -although you should do them first- I like to do my eyes last.

I take out my matte eye pallet and study the colours. I decide to go with Taupe as the base colour, and espresso for the edge.

I perfectly blend the colours together, then add mascara and a perfect winged eyeliner. I apply one of my favourite matte lipsticks from Kylie's Valentine's Day collection.