•FADED• {Jason McCann} - wattys2017

Part 22: guilty heart

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Just as my foot hits the first step on the stair case, the doorbell is rung, maybe they forgot something? I groan not wanting to see Becky again and fling open the door.

"Hello?" I ask at the stranger who is definitely not Jason or Becky.

"Elena Hamilton?" He asks, his facial features so recognisable, do I know this man? It's like I've seen him before, but where?

"Yeah, do I know you?"

"Actually, yes. I'm- I'm your father."
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At first it feels like my heart completely comes to a stop. The man before me sickness me as he stands, claiming to be something he's not!

"My dad is dead," I speak bluntly, "what's disgusting is that you stand here impersonating him. My dad left and I don't know who you are, but I hope you rot in hell." Fury floods through my shaking body and I feel as if the air has been sucked out off the room - giving me no air to breath.

How could someone do that? How could they claim to be someone they aren't? How could he -

"Elena, just open the door and let me explain."

"Explain what, how you're not my dad. How do you even know who I am?" I yell through the closed door, leaning my ear against the hardness of it.

The stranger claiming to be my 'dad' lets out a long heavy sigh, before speaking up, "It's a long story, Elena. Please, let me in and I'll explain everything!"  How do I know he's telling the truth? He could be anyone pretending to be my dad. The last I was told about my dad is that he's dead. So how is this possible?

Slowly, I open the door, and let the man who claims to be my dad into the house.  I lead him into the lounge room - awkwardly we sit in silence.

"Tell me. If you're really my dad, why come back now. After sixteen years why come back for me? Is it guilt because you found out about my leukaemia?"

"Elena. I know this is hard to believe. Very hard, I couldn't imagine. But please just hear me out. I had just turned twenty when I found out your mum was pregnant with you. I was scared Elena, horrified in fact. I knew I wouldn't be able to be the dad that you needed. Your mum and I sat down and talked everything out. She promised to stay in touch and send photos of you. I stayed during her pregnancy, but as soon as she gave birth to you I had to leave. I couldn't get attached. I'm really sorry, Elena, I really am." Tears brim at his eyes and I can tell this man is indeed my dad. But why'd my mum lie to me? Why not tell me the truth? For my whole sixteen years of life I believed my dad had died in the army.

"So the whole army thing is a lie too? I'm guessing since you never really did die in the army, that was a lie too?"

"No, I did leave to the army, and uhm - that's where I met my new wife." What? "I uhm - I - you have two siblings Elena - " before he can finish off what ever he is about to say, I cut him off.

"Get out!"

"What?"

"Get out!" I stand and point towards the door. "Did you only come back to tell me you have a new wife and kids? Was I not good enough for you? Was mum not good enough for you? I can't believe this. I can't believe you. Get out, I don't want nothing to do with you!" Guilt bangs at my chest - yelling at the man who's my father in which I haven't seen since I was just a day old.

I had always imagined that if he were 'alive' all the things we could do, the things he would teach me, and the games we could play.

But I feel that the only reason he is here because he feels guilty.

Guilty that his first born child has a life threatening case of leukaemia and he knows the chances of survival are low.

"Elena, please."

"Close the door behind you." I rush out of the lounge room and run into my bedroom. Tears trickling down my face as I call up the only person I want near me at the moment.

"Hello."

"Jason, please can you come over? I really need someone to talk to right now." I sob into the phone. From asking him to leave, to begging him to stay. He must be so confused right now.

"Elena, of course, are you okay?"

"I - I don't know?"

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Hey, and so I understand this is a really really short chapter, but I PROMISE the next chapter will be much longer & I'll try to update it tomorrow.
Really sorry for the wait 💜💜