As I Am.......By Kennie Ellis

Chapter 21

After my shower I decided to look at a movie Collateral Damage was on with Will Smith. Now I love me some Will (Fresh Prince)  smart ,sexy and committed to his family and career the ultimate King.    The movie has a man searching for the answers to the following  3 life elements Love, Time and Death... something that many of us pay attention too at different times  through our lives. As I watched the movie I ventured to think about my own life. It's funny how movies make you have a reality  moment. The door bell ring and it was Kirk.

 Hello beautiful how are you, great come on in Kirk, what ya doing? Watching a movie what movie is this "boy look for yourself' ahh man this is that movie with Will Smith I have forgot the name but I did see the movie it's great is this your first time? No I've seen it before but I never get tired of it. Great  do you mind if we look at it together?  Sure DJ  should be home shortly,  hey where's the popcorn?  I hadn't gotten around to popping any.. Let me.... ok sure..    Kirk went to the kitchen to make the popcorn I begin remembering how much fun we had together hanging out talking just enjoying who the other is. Kirk made me feel beautiful he made me feel desirable and he also hurt me when he  had to leave and when he married. I had so many unanswered questions for him and I didn't know when to ask them it's funny you're a counselor and you don't know when to segaway a question to another Oh boy!!     

Kirk came in with some hot buttered popcorn I had paused the movie so he wouldn't miss any of it. we sat in silence and looked at the movie. I could feel Kirk looking at me every now and then I just pretended that I was in gulfed in the movie so noting would be said.  Finally the movie ended,Hey do you want to see John Wick 2 sure but  I would like to talk a bit. Look I know you're feeling some type of way with me poppin back up and confessing how I still feel for you . So we need to talk about this and be real about it. Well since you brought it up lets be real for a moment. 

Let me start ,first please,   I need you to know that leaving you was the hardest decision I had to make and one of my regrets . Look I encouraged you to take that job I know it was a great opportunity for you. My regret is, not asking you to come with me,don't get me wrong I cared deeply for my wife and I loved her in my own way but it was something that we had that made our connection so different. I felt guilty because you never left my heart . I took a chance coming back here I know, but I felt that I had to let you know how I still felt about you and was praying you had no one else in your life so we could possibly try again.   

Kirk I'm not going to lie to you, it hurt me when you left but I understood and you know I wouldn't have left then because my  organization was just beginning, but what killed me to the core is when you stop calling, stop writing and the next time I heard from you was when you notified me of your engagement. That hurt me badly and although I tried to understand I didn't... How can you love someone one minute and then just stop the next? ME I'm sorry if it's any consolation I never stopped loving you .. I just knew we both were into our careers and neither one of us wanted to make a change and the same way you encouraged me to go for my dreams I could not ask you to give up yours. I knew how hard you had worked to get your organization started and I  couldn't ask you to give it up although you have to know how much I wanted too.    I wasn't looking at Kirk,  I was  thinking of of how long he's been gone and how many nights  I cried myself to sleep and felt like I could never be good enough for anyone. Now he's telling me that he never stop loving me.  Look I  needed you to know that I still love you and I never stopped.

Kirk you know how I felt about you and when you left I must agree we both were and still is career driven . I could never ask you to give up your career goals for me and vice versa, what hurt is that it appeared you made no effort to make this work after leaving. And now our careers are where we worked hard for them to be, my organization has just gotten a sponsor Higgins & Higgins, you and your promotion what's different now is that we are settled in our careers but thats still a barrier because we live in two different places.  Look I just want to know that I still have a chance with you, I'm not expecting to pick up where we left off I want to start all over, things have changed we've changed and I know I hurt you, If noting else develops that something i will accept but ME I value our friendship and I miss it. Look I'm not willing to give up on us... Giving out isn't the same as giving up. I noticed he had damn near slid in my lap the smell of his cologne still made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up he moved slowly towards me he begin gently rubbing the side of my arms moving up and down and whispering slowly as he inched toward my ear lobe he beginning sucking on the lower part of my ear that shit felt good as hell Kirk what are you doing hopefully about to show the woman I Love just how much she was missed he begin leaning in I slowly fell back on the couch Kirk begin maneuvering down to my neck omg the feel of his mouth his touch caressing and moving over every  inch of my body made me want him more.. As his lips made his way toward mine he slowly played and sucked on my tongue making it a battle between his tongue and mine omg it had been so long since a man truly desired me I could feel his dick swelling as we grind so hard that it felt like fucking with our clothes on . He finally deep kissed me until it was like his tongue was in the back of my throat the moaning that we both were making indicated how much we both wanted this . ME I want you right now please let me have you I love you I need you.. I want you too Kirk,He lead me off the sofa and lead me to my bed room.. Lights out everyone this man is going to love the hell out me..

Kirk and I made love it had been so long I felt like I had forgot how.. My God it was good, the way he took his time with me kissing every part of my body making me desire him with every touch he placed...He made me feel desired but it was something missing the whole home I was enjoying our reunion I kept thinking about Micheal and his friend Denise and wondering if he was doing what we were.. That man was in my head I closed my eyes tight as Kirk stroked gently inside of me taking his time and allowing me to feel all 10 inches of his endowment and although it was so good I kept thinking about Micheal after we were done he held me in his arms both totally exhausted .. This was beautiful ME I missed this, I missed you.. We laid in each others arms all the while I'm asking myself what am I doing. We both finally  dosed off. (What have I done)

Michael and Denise had left TGIF's ... Where would you like to go what about to my place you haven't seen it in a while..we can catch up... Sure I would like that...We ended up over to Denise house not only is she a savvy business woman she is also an amazing decorator and painter. I allowed Denise to lead me in.. Make yourself comfortable Micheal you've been hear before.. Thanks ..Would you like a drink please Hennessey on ice .. You know it.. Denise gave me my drink.. I have to go and get out of these work clothes... Now you talking about a bad ass body I mean her ass is fucking amazing.. She's open to every type of sexual position it is.. Denise is definitely full of surprises...when she went in her bed room I knew it was going down.. Hell I begin talking  to myself .. "This is  what you wanted Michael to get away from crazy ass Lisa and get Mennettha Ellis out of your head so get your shit together".. As I sat their drinking my drink and listening to Charlie Wilson I thought of ME and I found myself wondering what she was doing? And was Kirk over there? Ok Now you tripping get it together a sexy ass woman an is about to come out and you're about to was that was so getting it together.
together Denise came out in a short set looking sexy as hell she had poured her a drink as well Denise like Lisa wasted know time in telling you what they wanted. One minute we were drinking our drink on the coach and the next minute Denise  had my pants and draws down and was stroking and sucking on my dick.. I had forgot how good she was giving head .  her mouth was fuckin amazing she knew how much I love getting head I also love eating pussy she had got my dick so hard I had to taste her. I pick her was up and slowly pulled her shorts down she had no panties on I slowly kissed between her thighs I knew this drove her crazy she knew what was coming next.. I went in on that pussy. I sucked that chocolate click until she was begging me  to slow down .. I knew when she began to cum I could taste the liquid on my tongue we didn't wait. For any bed I took that  on her living room floor.. I fucked her so hard and good that ass went straight to sleep.   Ironically I didn't,  I mean she was good, Hell it was good but I kept thinking about ME. . I had to think this was pure infatuation I mean she was what I didn't go far.. I mean she was smart that turns me on of course but ME she was also loving sweet passionate about other people I mean she won my grandmother and no woman has been able to do that yet not even my daughter's mother. She was the type of woman that  I though I would never be attracted too until now why now?..Denise was still asleep I got up kissed her lips softly and left.. I did leave a message on her cell. I drove home thinking the sex was amazing but I wasn't satisfied what was going on?

It was late Kirk had a early day tomorrow and so did I ... I walked him to the door. Good night ME I had an amazing time .. He hugged me and gave me a soft peck on the lips I love you Ms. Ellis and never forget it please think about what I said . I smiled and waved at him as he left. I couldn't  say it back I couldn't tell him I love you too I just couldn't​ . it wasn't 5 minutes or so after he left my phone rings.. Hello, Hello beautiful thank you again it felt like old times even better because it's a new beginning I love you ME sleep well.. You too Goodnight... DJ had came in my mind was totally somewhere else , I didn't  hear her come in, she scared the shit out of me when she came behind me.  Why are you so damn jumpy. I'm Sorry DJ,  Hey  when is Kirk coming over I can't wait to see him ahh he was over earlier he told me to tell you he'll see you tomorrow.  Now DJ knows me like a book...she turns around and looks  ME what have you been doing? Or should I say what did ya'll do? DJ looked at me and she had this look on her face like helfer you been fucking.. She act like she was smelling me YES YES you got your ass some dick Kirk done come and laid the pipe no no it was no pipe ok that Python we both laugh yes ok can I have him some ooohhh you nasty sis lol no I was just horney as hell.alrighty then I'm glad you got some peta  I was getting a little concerned, (Both Giggled) You  were over due.. Lol Go to Hell DJ nope nope!!!!!!