Tyson VS Life - Book One - Drug War

Chapter 12: Consumerism

School had ended yet again, and Tyson had dragged the gang to McKitchens for some kind of celebration party, buying another SLURPERTM on the way and bringing it into the restaurant despite the employee's requests that he not. Tyson approached the counter, placed his hands on it, adjusted his shirt collar and cleared his throat.

"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."

The cashier stared back in terror. Hodge walked up and shoved Tyson out of the way, sending him sprawling across the floor and sliding into a group of nearby customers as if he were a ball and they were pins.

"Don't worry about him, uh, just give us one of them family meals or something."

Still on the floor, Tyson span around in a retarded spasm, yelling "I've McFallen!"

At the largest table in the establishment, the group sat having a heated discussion, Lucas and Hodge yelling at each other about best girls, french people, being too short and fists of justice.

Tyson interrupted them by saying "Ok so Moogoo said he wasn't in charge of the Asspol, so who the hell is?"

"It could be Legham, she's a high ranking teacher like Moogoo." Ryan postulated.

Tyson shook his head in response;"No, I broke into her office and smeared shit everywhere, and I didn't see anything related to Asspol..."

Jacob snapped his fingers; "I fucking knew that was you!"

Lucas took a sip of his drink and pointed at Tyson;

"Look, all I know is that whoever it is probably has some serious firepower, because everyone we fucking run into has machine guns and shotguns and just all kinds of stupid shit. Therefore, I think we need to pick up some new stuff of our own."

Hodge's eyes sparkled in delight. Lucas grinned. "Get in loser, we're going GUN shopping."

Tyson kicked in the door to the local gun store and strode in with his fingers in his belt and a bit of wheat in his mouth. He approached the counter and leant in.

"Howdy there gunsmith, me n' mah compatriots are lookin' for some fine firearms."

The man at the counter stared back. "What did you just fucking say to me?"

Hodge strolled in behind the ginger and knocked him to the ground.

"We were hoping you could provide us with some weapons in exchange for currency."

The gunsmith smiled and nodded. "I see, I see. You kids look a little under the age but uh, I won't tell if you don't."

He motioned with his hand along the wall at the various weapons on display. "Take your pick."

The gang moved fluidly throughout the store, grabbing the weapons they wanted and throwing them on the counter. The gunsmith examined them and nodded.

"That'll be about 13254 dollars and 54 cents."

Lucas nodded and went to grab his wallet, but Jacob reacted first, pulling a gun from behind and blowing the store owner's brains across the wall. Hodge reeled back.

"Jacob what the FUCK!?"

The sociopath shrugged; "Now we don't have to pay for them, you should be thankful."

The gang exited the store, the owner's corpse discarded in the bins behind the establishment and newly purchased weapons in hand. They didn't have to long to admire them before a fresh group of assholes ambushed them and the random encounter music started playing. The body closest to the front pointed an accusing finger at the party.

"My name is Kamikaze Kid, and I'm here to avenge Sugar Nips and-"

Lucas interrupted him by blowing his head clean off with a trigger pull from his shotgun. The rest of the members froze in shock while Lucas started up a string of complaints.

"I'm just about sick and fucking tired of you assholes just coming up to us in the fucking street and trying to start god damned fights with us for fucks sake we killed all of you before and now we're going to fucking kill all of you now and I hope you understand that you've all gone and fucked up and you can't fix your terrible life choices now."

For a few seconds the gang was quiet, but the child to the right of his leader's headless corpse readied his handgun and started shooting wildly.

The party dived behind various pieces of cover and readied their own weapons. Jacob leaned up over the electrical box he was behind and laid down heavy fire, turning Airplane Jelly into fine red mist perforated with some bloody chunks.

Hodge leant out his own cover and shot a child called Burger Rings multiple times in the chest and throat, killing him near instantly. His friend, Salty Sparrow screamed in fear and run at Hodge in a desperate attempt for revenge. Hodge sent his fist through the mailbox he had taken cover behind, jamming his gun barrel through the hole and opened fire, tearing Sparrow into fleshy strips.

Tyson fumbled with a grenade behind the car he hid behind, before throwing it over and hitting Chins McGee in the genitals, blowing them to bits along with the rest of him.

Ryan pulled out his self defence Glock 17 and hit the black kid furthest in the back, Melon Sensei.

"Nice shot, Jew!" Lucas yelled.

"I'm not a fucking Jew!" Ryan replied.

The smoke and blood cleared to reveal a violent scene, gore pasted all over the road and paths on the side of it. Lucas waved his hand across the bloody scene in front of them.

"I told you more weapons was a good idea."