Tyson VS Life - Book One - Drug War

Chapter 14: Posthumous Celebration

Ms. Brunty's funeral was being held in the Performance Art Centre, her corpse in a coffin, far too gruesome to be witnessed by anyone. The event was also a combination funeral for Moogoo, Brick and MacDangdong. The gang had attended because they were ordered to by the school, and because, as Ryan postulated;

"Someone with direct links to Moogoo will probably be at his funeral."

Tyson and his gang of murderers sat somewhere around the middle, not the front or back, in order to draw less attention. The headmistress, Dr. Legham ascended the stairs onto the stage and stood at the podium. She began her speech, and talked for around 3 and a half hours about various topics, from the life of those deceased to irrelevant topics like whoever had shit all over the school and her office. As her long winded speech began to reach it's end, Tyson spotted someone heading to the bathroom in the corner of his eye. He tapped Lucas on the shoulder and pointed at the guy, then himself. The blonde, who wasn't really paying attention, gave him a thumbs up and went back to sleeping. Tyson stood up from his seat and followed the individual into the bathroom. As he entered, he heard noise from the far stall. He approached and tried to open the door. It never occurred to him that it might be locked. The ginger frowned and began to think. Suddenly he dropped to his stomach and began to crawl under the door. Luckily, the shady character was facing away from him, standing up. Tyson wriggled his way through until he could no longer.

"Uh oh."

He was stuck, and also a little too vocal, as the individual turned around to see a fat kid stuck underneath the door, trying to worm his way through.

"What the fu-" he said, and took a step back, interrupted as he slipped on a puddle of urine. He slammed his head against the toilet bowl and was knocked unconscious.

He awoke to find himself stuck in the toilet and the fat kid from earlier standing above him with his dick out. The man began to panic, but Tyson had covered his mouth with wet toilet paper, sticking it shut.

"What do you know about Asspol?" Tyson demanded.

The man continued to thrash and try to speak.

"Oh shit, yeah."

Tyson removed the paper from over the man's mouth.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS AN ASSPOL?"

Tyson slapped him.

"Keep your fucking voice down or my cock'll be the next thing in your mouth."

The man shut up.

"Now, tell me what you know about Asspol and who the FUCK is funneling it into the school."

"It's- It was Mr. Moogoo!"

"I know, I fucking killed the prick for that exact reason."

"YOU killed him!?"

Tyson nodded.

"Oh God I'm gonna fucking DIE!"

Tyson sent his dick flailing across the man's face, silencing him instantly and producing a loud slapping noise. After he recovered from shock, the man began to stammer;

"T-There- There was someone who worked from a building downtown! I'll give you the address just PLEASE stop sexually assaulting me!"

Tyson nodded, satisfied. From his pants on the ground, he drew a knife. The man began to panic again.

"Oh shit, wrong thing."

Tyson replaced the knife and the man took a long breath as Tyson drew a notebook and a Pinucha PenTM, which he handed to the man.

"Alright fucker, write."

Tyson's prisoner scribbled down the address and gave the book back to Tyson.

"Ok, I've told you everything, please let me go!"

Tyson nodded, agreeing.

"Alright, but first, I really need to take a piss."

Tyson walked forward and the man withdrew in horror.

"Wait- NO! PLEASE! NO NO NO NO NO-"

Tyson exited the bathroom, fully clothed, to find the hall abandoned and the funeral service ended.

"Fuck."