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4 O'Clock | Tsukishima Kei

No quote today~

Song: 4 O'Clock by BTS (V and Rap Monster)

(This song is legitimately my favorite and I don't know why. It's so comforting and heartwarming.)

There you sat. In the park where you always met that fateful blonde...the person who you never felt would leave the world so quickly.

It was now a daily routine for you to come and look for the moon, whether full or waning.

I wrote a long letter
To the moon one day
It isn't brighter than you but
I lit a small candle

So, pen in hand, you decided to write that letter. You had been planning for so long, those nights you sat with the blonde on the soft grass.

The city lights lit up the surrounding areas. But where you two used to stay was dimly lit, quiet and calm. Just like him.

The nameless bird that sings
In the park at dawn
Where are you
Oh you

Sometimes you wondered where he was, how he was doing. Obviously he was dead. But what do you do after you die, you wondered.

It was a stupid question.

Often you wondered if what relatives told you was true. Was Tsukishima watching over you in heaven? Were you even that important to him?

I mean...you loved him.

Why are you crying
It's only me and you here
Me and you
Oh you

You wiped the tears that were falling. It wasn't voluntary, the salty droplets of pain came out at all times if someone mentioned him.

When he first died, it felt you had died as well. It was quick and unexpected.

To this day you still sometimes imagine him.

When you come home from a conference, tired and exhausted. Or when you're all alone, early mornings when he'd great you with coffee.

It felt so real, but it was a horrible trick from your mind. You believed he never watched over you and protected you from heaven because you never had signs.

In turn, you believed he never truly loved you.

Your singing voice,
That follows deep into the night,
Brings the scarlet morning
One step, then another step

That's how you took things now. One step at a time.

You weren't heavily involved in anything anymore, you distanced yourself so you could feel calm.

Now was a prime time in your life. Many were getting married and starting families...while you were alone.

Dawn passes by and
When that moon falls asleep
Then the blue light that was with me
Disappears

So there you sat.

Your parents didn't feel it was healthy to be so heavily dependent on the past, but you sat twisting the promise ring Tsukishima gave you for your first anniversary.