Fleur

Chapter Seven

TRIGGER WARNINGS

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"Evan, I think it's best you stay away from that boy," Dr. Sherman said while looking over her notes from the session. "He seems like a bad influence on you and I don't want you feeling responsible for anything he might do that might be, well, drastic." She tapped her pen on the edge of the table and looked at him, awaiting a response. He had managed to make it to the appointment on time despite the whole commotion with Connor on the subway.

"But Dr., he's my soulmate! We're meant to be together. I'm supposed to guide him to happiness and vice versa. That's what they teach you in elementary school!" Evan argued.

"Your situation is not like anyone would ever imagine. Your situation is so extreme and you are not mentally stable enough to handle what Connor is going through. He had some real big problems. Problems that even I don't understand. It's an adult thing, you'll learn as you get older."

"But he--"

"Evan, I've talked about this with your mother and we both agree that it's better for you to act as if you don't know him. Just put in your headphones or walk in a different direction. But I don't want you interacting with him, understand?"

"I, I guess," Evan said sadly, looking at the floor to stop himself from crying. It wasn't fair! Just as he'd found his soulmate, he got taken away from him.

"Evan are you okay?" Dr. Sherman asked.

"Y-yeah."

The appointment ended soon after that. He met up with his mother who was waiting on an uncomfortable looking chair in the small lobby of the office. He walked past her with an angered face and hurt eyes.

"Sweetie, what's up?" Heidi inquired, extending a hand and placing it on her son's shoulder in a comforting, motherly way. He waited until they were in the privacy of their car to continue the conversation.

"I can't believe you won't let me be with Connor! He made me happy, Mom. Something you've never been able to do."

Heidi tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

"Now you listen here young man. Who do you think works an insane amount of shifts to put food on the table for you? Who do you thinks drives to the middle of nowhere to take you to your therapy appointments? Who spends every fucking minute of the day worrying about you and if you'll be okay? My whole life revolves around you, Evan Hansen. You will respect me, your hard working mother and appreciate everything I do for you."

Evan crossed his arms, pouted, and huffed like a small and angry child.

"Just because dad wasn't your soulmate doesn't mean you get to take away my soulmate." The minute he said it, he instantly regretted it.

The fury radiating from Heidi was enough to start a fire. While she was normally a chill, strong, woman, talking about her ex husband revived memories that she'd tried so hard to repress.

"You want to be with Connor so bad? Fine. But don't you dare come running back to me when you get caught up in his problems. Understood?"

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine!"

•

"Hello Father," Connor greeted as he tried to have as minimal interaction with Larry as possible. Larry grunted a response back and shushed him for interrupting the game of baseball on television.

"Just a couple more stairs and then you can start crying," Connor told himself with fake confidence. He was, in simplest terms, overwhelmed with the outcomes of the day. He had been called gay slurs by his one true friend and when he tried to kill himself, was stopped by the boy who happened to be his soulmate. Which also meant his suspicion about being gay was correct. It was honestly too much to take in.

Locking the door to his room, he took out the small, black notebook from his satchel and started to write; his messy handwriting filling the pages quickly. He admired Leonardo Da Vinci and often used his form of cross hatching writing to hide secret messages and memoirs Larry would forbid.

Today was... a day. Though my attempts at a perfect suicide were impaired, I met the boy of my dreams. A boy who's eyes were clouded by fears. Clouded so much that you can barely see the bright blue sky residing in his irises. His hair was like the all mighty sun itself. And although this boy makes me feel emotions too big for my cold heart, the strongest emotion I feel towards him is hatred. Hatred for stopping me from what was almost my ticket to paradise. Although, I did notice how when he approaches me, my blue flower diminishes, at times almost invisible. I notice the stability in his breathing and the way his posture aligns itself with my mere presence. I never knew my existence would calm someone so much. Even so, I still wish to extinguish my candle and end this misery some call life once and for all.
~CMurphy.

He closed his notebook and hid it in the back of the closet he partially shared with Zoe (mostly when her stuff took up too much room in her closet and she needed space to keep her clothes).

Stripping down to his underwear, he laid with his chest up towards the ceiling. He breathed, letting the rise and fall of his chest lull him to finally sleep calmly.

In a turn of events, Connor awoke with an uneven, jagged black flower on his thigh and an enormous blue, pulsing flower that took over almost all of his arm.

•

(AN: sorry for the lack of updates. I've been having some writers block.)