I never enjoyed your pleasantly painful existence,
But I enjoyed the pleasant pain I brought to myself, because of you.
The mental pain was because of you, and in order to match that with physical pain, I had to do the, now, unthinkable.
I would never be able to do it to myself, well, not now at least.
I've grown strong.
Before, all it took was a little stress and I'd open myself, trying to match physical pain with mental pain.
It was the only thing I had control over.
The physical pain was pleasant, when I look back at it now.
It was bearable.
It was the only bearable pain I experienced thanks to you.
You know, I almost wiped out all pain once upon a time.
I almost ended it so that you would be pleasantly pleased, and I know you would've been.
You're mentally sick, you're the kind of sick where, if you're having a bad day, then everyone around you is going to have a bad day because you said so.
You're sick because you inflicted so much pain onto others and you found joy in it.
It was pleasant for you.
Well, it sure as hell wasn't pleasant for me.
But hey, I still won.
I made it out alive,
Physically alive that is.
You mentally drained me and everyday I mentally killed myself, hoping it would actually work.
Hoping that if I wish it enough, it would become a pleasant reality.
Because we're all sick,
But some sickness is pleasant.
