REPLY

Birthday Present (Part 1)

Truthfully, it was only her second time she saw Jackson crying directly after Christmas five years ago. It's not like those crying on the stage he had because of getting emotional with the fans' cheering or awards in his hands. And, it's not like she could handle her own tears after seeing him crying.

She wiped his tears with her thumbs, it was warm. But, with that, she couldn't stop herself to shed a tear. She had those mixed emotion. She didn't even know how to feel, whether upset or happy or confused or surprised. She didn't understand the situation, and when she confused with these overflowing feeling, she cried.

"No, no, no Youngji-ah..." Jackson was panic, seeing her cried. He sat beside her, cupped her cheeks in his hands, watching her tears flowing down her cheeks; heartbreaking.

Jackson seemed like couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled her closer and put her in his arm, didn't even care if anyone saw them, and he just needed her to be in his arms.

"No, don't cry anymore, please. I'm sorry, Youngji-ah, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry, so so sorry."

For a moment Youngji buried her head in his arm; holding on his shirt; crying and sobbing quietly. She couldn't deny it, Jackson's chest was board and was warm enough to make her calm and feel safe. It was silent between them. Youngji could hear Jackson heart beats, it's kinda fast but she wasn't so sure if it's normal or not for him, but she felt relaxed hearing that. After a minute or more, she didn't remember, after enjoying the silence between them; Youngji pulled herself out from Jackson's arms.

They were too close that they could smell each other's scent. Youngji was still clinging to his shirt where she left her tears mark to, while Jackson was still holding on her arms as if he's worried she would break down again and he's not ready for her. Youngji, then, felt Jackson's hands on her cheeks, wiping her remaining tears.

"You know you're wearing a very good quality, don't you?" Jackson whispered.

Youngji burst into laughter. "Yaah!!" She hit his chest, while making space between them. "You sounded weird too, don't you know?" She added, "Saying a lot of 'no' and 'sorry'." She said between her laughter.

"I'm serious, look, you have no smudge." Jackson leaned his face to Youngji, smiled.

Youngji stared at him but soon looked away. She didn't want him to know how embarrassed she was at the moment. Youngji glanced at him and realized he was giving her some space. The dim light made his figure looked dazzling. His presence alone had made her nervous, now he confessed something Youngji didn't even know what and how to reply. Youngji could feel her heart suddenly pounding.

"I accept it." Youngji said.

"Hmm?" Jackson asked, he seemed goofing off.

"I said, I accept it." She repeated, "Your apology."

Jackson smiled, "Thank you."

Five minutes passed in silence between them. They seemed busy with their own thought. It wasn't awkward, but they just stayed there enjoying the whistle of cold wind, until Jackson broke the silence.

"Then, Youngji," Jackson said, "since you accept my apology, now, can I expect for your answer?"

Youngji looked down, staring at her glittering shoes. She did hear him clearly but she didn't know what to say. In her life she always believes there's always possibility for everything, she's certain about that. There's always wish that is fulfilled, there's always dream that comes true. But, for now, thinking thoroughly was the only option she had, she couldn't let her feeling control her future, disturb her happiness, her work, or him. People said love is blind, but human being doesn't just have a heart, they also have a brain, and brain works for wisdom and logic. It was true that she wants to experience passionate love, even when her parents hate him, she needs him and wants to go through everything with him, but she needs reason for that, strong enough to make her step away from the world and stay in his arm no matter what people say.