Finding Me

Chapter 8 Bullying

It is such a great thing to be in control, but being controlled is another complicated and hard to understand situation. As human beings, we love showing that we are in control, that nothing makes us break down and that nothing will ever bring us down no matter how much we are hurting. Any kind of soft spot makes us weak, and as much as we like being in charge, weakness is not an option. No matter what the situation is, showing off our outmost capability is always the option, nothing else. We exercise our power in such a way that in front of every other being, we seem superior and powerful. We seem to be in control even if at some points, being controlled is the only option available, even less, there is nothing to control at all.

Control is something that every man yearns for, no matter how far it is from their reach. There is nothing as powerful as being in charge, not only of your own life, but of those around you as well. Being able to make someone do exactly what you want makes the individual in question feel a lot more in charge. Being in charge is everyone’s wish, and as much as I know man, one can stop at just about anything to exercise his ability of controlling someone, and as much as themselves want to be in charge, they forget the fact that everyone wants to be in charge, even if it is just over their own lives. Being in control is a great thing, but exercising your ability over other individuals in an unacceptable way does nothing but harm, not only to the controlled individual, but to the one seemingly in control. Truth shall be told that whatever we do affects us directly or indirectly, and this does not happen soon after the said work, but whenever throughout the long run.

Strength is something that not everyone have. We all can be strong, but that does not mean that our strength does not wear out to some extent. No matter who we are, what we do and where we come from, we are strong until something happens, something that makes all that strength wear out. I understand that sometimes we don’t know that we are stronger than what we thought to be until being strong is all we have, yet that does not mean we do not get tired of trying out every bit of strength in our organism. Am not encouraging giving up, but just trying to make people understand that no matter how much we get to use every bit of our strength within us, we should as well try to make sure that in whatever situation we find ourselves in, we should always have that fighting spirit. This world is rough, and trust me, I have seen it all. I have found myself in a couple of compromising positions in such a way that the only choice that I had left was let someone control me just to protect myself or those around me. One thing that you should know is that no matter how much the fire within us become less, a little of it will always be there, just waiting for you to put a little bit of gasoline on it.

Power is something that everyone has, and yes, I must admit that it has its own limits. Power is a very complex thing to understand, and in most cases, people tend to confuse power with strength or control over something. Generally, power has to do with the influence that an individual has over other persons. That’s when strength and control comes in. being able to influence people I a certain way allows you to control them in a certain way, and make them behave around you, and even in your absence, in a certain way. This affects the individuals being controlled in a certain way, thinking in a certain way and even making decisions in a certain way, such that it all suits the one in power. Mind me, influence cannot be of bad intention always, but in this context, we should picture it in that way, as according to the tittle of this chapter.

Bullying is one of the many challenges that we get to face as we grow up. Ever since our primary years, there is always that someone in our lives that tries to control us in a certain way, makes us think in a certain way and somewhat tries to control what we do in a way that suits their liking, and to their satisfaction. As I have stated before, as human beings, we try to exercise our power to the extent that we make it clear to the weak that it is us, and that we can stop at just about anything to make sure that they know who is in control. A bully will always frighten or hurt the weak verbally or physically, which, all of this, can be a huge load on the human mind, and may lead to some of the mental disorders that has to do with abuse. The bully always use their strength or power to frighten or hurt the weaker ones, such that they comply with what they ask of them no matter how ugly the situation gets. Surprisingly, most of the people that put all this to test have gone through similar situations, and because they cannot get back to whoever did the same to them, they tend to find new victims who are often weaker than themselves.
I didn’t want to include this in this chapter, but however, just to be inclusive, I need to, just for you to understand how close bullying is to abuse. Both terms include the two sub-terms, control and strength, but they have their distinctions. Well, let’s begin with the similarities. Bullying and abuse involves the control and power over someone in a way that is wrong and harmful, unfair, violent or cruel treatment, verbally or physically. Both however, leave the individual in question in some form of mental trauma, and in some individuals, can lead to mental disorders or can influence the said individuals an a way that they might start acting out in the same way as their so called superiors. As you have noticed, the line between the two terms is not as thick as thought to be, but there are slight differences. Bullying is a way in which an individual tries to express that they are in control, exercising their strength and power and showing that they are superior to the weak, and abuse is a way of exploiting something or someone to one’s advantage in a wrong, harmful, violent or cruel manner, without actually expressing or exercising the strength or power of the abusive individual, and of course, without showing that they are superior. In simpler words, the motives of the two terms are quite different, even if the two might present similarities in their actions.