Black Butler and the Modern Reader S1

44 | Santa Is a God

•Y/N: Your Name

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Your POV:
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     It's been some time. How long exactly? I don't really have an answer for that. I feel like the In-Between sort of messes with your perception of time, especially when sleeping and eating don't really matter. I have no concept of hunger or tiredness, but the pain was lingering for a good while. It was only recently that it started to fade, but at least I wasn't fighting through it alone. Lloyd kept me company at all times and kept the boredom away by teaching me about what it meant to be a Goddess of Television and by also projecting what was happening in the Black Butler universe on one of the surrounding walls.

     Life seemed to continue for the characters without me, though I guess I should have expected that. Things went along like they did in the anime after the events at the abbey. It was almost like I didn't exist anymore, and that hurt, honestly, but I tried to understand. I was dead, after all— To them, at least. They had no idea I was still alive in this place, but I worried mostly about my servants, my friends who remained in the manor. It broke my heart to see them so depressed when Lloyd showed me what they were up to.

     Little Oli clung to my dear Teddy; Drossel, while he might not be the most expressive of the bunch, moved faintly sluggish at times, and poor Arthur tried to keep his head high only to cry in private. It was hard to watch, so I focused mainly on the storyline for the time being. I would return to them soon. Truthfully, though, a part of me was happy to see how much I meant to them. For the longest time, I felt like no one would care if I disappeared from the world, but here was irrefutable proof that I did leave an impact on someone. It made me feel whole, like I was doing something right.

     As I gathered my strength, I learned more about my powers and how to wield them without getting myself hurt in the process. While it was cool being able to do all these amazing things, they came with a surprising amount of limits too. I can't use any of my powers outside of the TV for one: no regeneration or changing my appearance, and any changes I do make to myself in here will revert back to normal once out of the television. At least I won't have to carry the remote anymore. All it takes now to open a portal is to set a hand on my TV screen, but still, it will only work for that specific screen; otherwise, I will need to use an entry code for the first use of another.

     Another perk is that most supernatural creatures will have respect for us gods— Well, aside from demons, apparently, which explains a lot of my experiences in dealing with Sebastian and the reapers. They won't always be able to tell what we are at first glance, but they can sense our abundance of power. Demons apparently take it as a challenge or a threat. After some basic training, Lloyd was proud to inform me that I should be ready to return to the world I longed for the whole while I've been here, and I couldn't be more excited to hop back into things. I think I know just how to make my presence known. I've been plotting with Lloyd for a while now, and he even gave some good suggestions.

     "You're sure you're ready to return?" He asked me when the time was right. I nodded eagerly.

     "No more brain fuzz. I feel great!" I say with a grin, which seemed to please him.

     "Great. Oh, and one more thing before you go," he starts, raising up one finger, which made me curious. "It's about that angel, Ash. He's being a mad creep about you. You've realized that, right?"

     "Yeah, kinda." I heaved a heavy sigh. "He's been nice, but really, I'm positive it's mostly just an act. Part of it could be genuine, but I don't know. Rubs me the wrong way, especially knowing everything." My fingers curled into angered fists when I thought about how he treats Ciel and those around him like dolls, how he would soon attempt to kill off so many people. "I don't get his interest in me. I feel it's only because he can somewhat sense what I am. For some reason that idea kinda hurts too." I wasn't sure why. Maybe I felt the slightest bit of attachment to the angel, but I knew better than to believe that he was kind to me solely because he enjoyed my company. I am close to Ciel. He knows that, and I wouldn't put it past him to have thought of using me too.