Polar Opposites

Chapter 10

Hydrogen." I don't know why I started with something so easy, my mind says I'm stupid, but my heart is eggar for his question.

"H is its symbol, atomic number 1, and atomic weight is 1 and some change. Are you a virgin, Nicole?" I feel my face flush, and all I want to do is hide. If I take an article of clothing off, it's obvious what my answer is. If I answer, I look like the pathetic valedictorian that's never been with a boy.

I take my scarf off, and by the smirk on his face, I know he got his answer. Why is he asking me this? He's my brothers best friend, the captain of the hockey team and I'm being forced to tutor him, he's doing this to try and weaken me, to make me out to be the pathetic girl he helped at a party, and uses as the target of his jokes.

I cough, unable to make eye contact as I ask the next element.

"Magnesium." I don't understand why I'm so scared. I feel adrenaline fill my veins, but also a lack of oxygen. I want to run away from this place, but also feel my ankles locked to this rock.

"Magnesium....atomic weight 24.3 something...atomic number 12, and symbol is Mg. " he's moved closer to me, and I can't help but feel my heart race, my hands clam and my nerves go crazy. I feel the warmth of his breathe, and I feel myself begin to sweat as he's just inches from my face, leaning his weight on his big hands.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" I'm frozen, having my eyes stare at his lips and my lips parted. My heart beat rings in my ears, and all I can do is nod. He lifts my chin, forcing me to look into his green eyes. I find it hard to read them, unable to see if they're full of good or bad intentions. My contacted eyes begin to its hard, but I ignore it, stuck in the gaze.

I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach, building up to my throat. I want to talk, I want to scream, but I can't. I have no control of my body as he stares into my eyes, his hot breathe hitting my face, the smell of mint and his scent...god his scent, it's something I can't explain. It smells of cheap cologne and after shave. It's a wonderful smell, a smell I can grow fond of.

When I close my eyes, I expect to feel his lips crash to mind, to feel the satisfaction and magic a first kiss is supposed to feel, except I feel his fingers leave my chin, and him sit back against the tree, leaving me feeling humiliated and confused. I open my eyes, hoping this is a sick joke, but I'm smacked with reality when I see his eyes loose their softness, and his dimples disappear, only leaving a stern look as his jaw sticks out.

"Next element." He stares at me, his eyes cold and his posture stern. I feel tears threaten me, but I push them away. I close the gap in my lips, swallowing hard and grabbing my things.

"Where are you going?" I ignore him, continuing to pack up and throw my scarf over my head, he grabs my arm. His voice is cold, but full of curiosity, but all I can seem to hear is a ringing in my ear, and a tightness in my chest.

"I need to go." He knows I'm lying, and follows behind me.

"Let me atleast drive you home." I shake my head, as the only thing I want is to be away, far away from him. We eventually make it to the parking lot, making me realize I'm walking fairly fast.

"Nicole common were supposed to be studying for another 45 minutes!" He calls behind me, and I know he's stopped at his car, I keep walking, ignoring his pleases.

I feel stupid, yet confused. He seems to have two sides to him, one being the sweet guy who took care of me in a drunken state, and one who gains entertainment from my humiliation.

And I can't even remotely sympathize myself, as I know I'll continue to be his punching bag.
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By the time I get home, I'm exhausted. I must have walked a couple miles, but I didn't care. I blasted my music in my ears, trying my best to forget what had just happened, ignoring the burning to my eyes and my makeup bled.

I walk through the front door, and know my mother is in the kitchen making dinner.

I take a seat in my normal chair, looking over at Niall as he scarfs down his pasta. My mother takes a seat, looking at me then Niall.

"Hello to you too Nicole. Your makeup is a mess." I ignore her, really not in the mood for her bullshit.

"Mum I need $20 for cap and gown deposits." Niall doesn't even look up from his plate as he says it, continuing to scroll through his phone.

"Of course honey, just remind me in the morning." He reaches across the table, giving his hand a tight squeeze as it grips his phones

"I need it too please." She keeps her gaze on Niall, giving me little attention with her answer.

"Nicole I don't have enough for the both of you, either ask your father or take it out of your savings." My blood boils, and I don't think as I slam my fork down on my plate, causing both her and Niall to stare at me.

"Nicole do you have something to say?" I look her way, my eyes filled with tears and anger.

"Yes mother, I forgot since I wasn't your favorite child I couldn't have money for basic necessities when you buy Niall thousands of dollars worth of hockey gear." I stand up, grabbing my bag and slamming my chair in.

"Nicole you have some nerve to talk to me that way! You owe me and your brother and apology!"

"Mom just ignore it, she's just tying to piss you off." I give Niall a dirty look, unable to comprehend how he could be so shitty. I catch myself wanting so bad, for him to back me up. To care remotely why I'm so upset, but he doesn't.

I hear the front door open, but I ignore it, feeling too in the zone as I let loose on my mother.

"No you know what mom, I'm so sick of it. No matter how hard I try, not matter how good in school I am or hard working I am, I'm not good enough for you. I'll always be your child you didn't want and the blame as to why your husband left you!" I turn, realizing Harry is standing in the kitchen doorway, staring at my face full of tears.

"While your upstairs Nicole, maybe I should give your father a call and tell him you should move in with him!" I ignore her comment, as
All I do is stare at Harry, his face blank as my tears continue to roll down my cheeks.

I leave him, my mother and Niall at the table, storming to my room, ignoring the texts from Lou asking how my day went, the mumbles of my mother explaining my behavior to Harry, and my sobs as I fall asleep.