Polar Opposites

Chapter 30

Harry's POV----

I'm so stupid

I am SO fucking stupid.

I've been driving for a good hour, but I've paid little to no attention to the road or where I'm going.

When I imaged me and Nicole's first time, I thought of nothing but excellence.

It was, until she broke down.

I've only seen her cry a couple times, and I cant help but freeze and break down with her. I thought it was out of pain, but when she said I love you..

I fucking froze. It was as if she was speaking and I could only read her lips, closely understanding the words as they came out.

I couldn't help but become pissed off at her stupidity. I told her from the very fucking beginning..

Don't fall in love with me

What does she do? Exactly the opposite, and tells me just as I fucking spill into her.

My GOD did she feel good.

Did that feel good.

It not only felt good on my dick, but everything. My heart raced, her eyes full of trust..it felt incredible. It felt different.

But..

I couldn't handle her emotions, her devastation when I couldn't say the words back.

I said things I didn't mean.

She said everything she'd been holding in.

We don't go together, she doesn't love me.

She doesn't realize or understand yet that I'm not her guy, that I'm not who or what she wants. Nicole has imagined a knight in shining armor to save her, while I know love isn't black and white.

People get hurt, not everyone always loves another back..

People die.

I don't do commitment, I'm not going to be her sweet, perfect, smart guy she's always dreamed of.

She's not one of my girls I can call on a Friday night when I'm bored and horny.

Were polar opposites, no doubt about it.

But I couldn't help my desires. From the moment she pulled my ear bud from my ear that day in the library, she tested me. She didn't flaunt herself like other women, begging me to fuck them in the back of my car.

She didn't let her guard down when I insulted her, she wasn't tongue tied by my vulgar language and dirty remarks.

She only kept trying, never giving up on me educationally or emotionally.

She's right when she questions she means more to me than a tutor, because she does. We've had fun, she's taught me a lot, she's given me feeling I've never felt before.

I've never talked hours on end with someone, discussing stupid shit like chemistry and funny childhood memories.

I've never brought someone to meet my mother, or let my guard down regarding my father.

I've never been so patient, not rushing her in allowing me in her pants.

I've never felt this way, and it scares the living shit out of me.

I pull into my driveway and cant get myself to move and my mind wanders, my hands remembering exactly how they touched her, how soft her skin was, how wonderful she tasted.

"DAMN IT!" I slam my fist on my steering wheel, tugging my hair in frustration.

The thought of her covered in bloody sheets is an image I cant get from my head, as she called my name as I ran down the stairs, finding her family stare at me and her nail marks on my back.

I have to go. I'm sorry but...she's probably going to need you guys..

I'm a fucking coward. I knew she had nobody, that I was the closest thing she got. I gained her trust, I consistently begged for her trust, and when I got it, I stomped it, and her into the fucking ground.

My mother sits at the kitchen table sipping a glass on wine. Distress is obvious by my messy hair and blood shot eyes.

"Hi honey, how was Nicole's?" I ignore her, slamming a chain against the table that was barely in my way. She jumps, nearly dropping the glass to the wood.

"Excuse me..." I ignore her, swinging my bedroom door open and slamming it behind me, quickly stepping down the stairs. The dryer tumbles clothing, and my floor is now clean.

My mother eventually follows me downstairs, concern obvious on her face.

"How many times do I have to fucking tell you, do not touch my shit!" My voice is louder than I though, and my ears are pounding with anger. Before I can stop myself, my arm lunges to my shelf of memorabilia.

My mothers screams are drowned out by the pounding in my ears, the smashing of glass, and water in my eyes. I stomp on glass, and punch away at the wooden shelves.

"Harry! Please!" Eventually, her voice breaks through when my sobs do.

My mother hasn't seen me cry since my father died.

5 years ago.

"Oh honey, I miss him too." She attempts to hug me, but I shrug her off, slamming my fist into the concrete wall, feeling a crack. I ignore the pain, but cant shrug my mother off as she grabs the injured limb, forcing me to sit as she holds it.

She looks at me, concern and confusion present. She wipes my eyes, me being too tired to push her away.

I continue to cry, feeling like a bitch but I'm to defeated to care.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" Her voice is soft, reminding me of when I was a child, her soft hands wiping my tears, her lips kissing the top of my head whenever she hugged me.

"I love her mom, I think I really fucked up." Her lips are straight, and her face drops with sympathy.

"I know you do honey, I know." She brings me to her arms, and I let go, bringing myself back to a time when she held my hand during the doctors, or fell and scrapped my knee.

When she sang to me when waking from a nightmare.

When she selflessly held Gemma and I while we devastatingly cried over our father's death, even though her whole world was falling apart.

If you guys could describe Nicole and Harry in one song, what would it be? Leave the comment below! If you like this chapter, vote. I wanna hear feedback!

Love you guys!