Chapter 36

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Song for chapter: 'Bitter Sweet Symphony' by The Verve

Nicole's POV---

This morning was incredibly easy to wake up to.

It's senior sign out.

It's my last fucking day.

I walk through the halls with my headphones in, ignoring the surrounding sounds of cries and laughter as everybody enjoys the last day of high school.

Girls cry, people hug, selfies are taken. I can't help but grow annoyed by it, as my high school experience wasn't as grand as theirs was.

My high school days consisted of doing nothing more than studying, struggling with depression and spending every God damn minute this year falling harder and harder for somebody who shattered me to pieces.

My music is paused by my text tone, with Niall's name popping up.

'Senior sign out..be ready outside the gym at 2. We're Old Orchard bound ✌️'

I go straight into the girls bathroom, dialing Niall's number before I even make it into a stall.

He answers on the second ring, but not before belching into the recivor. I cringe, waiting for him to speak.

"Whaaaaaat" I can just imagine him laying on our couch in his days old boxers, letting his toe cheese touch the pillows and his crumbs hit the floor.

"I'm not going to the beach." I whisper my words as I hear footsteps outside my stall.

"Yes, you are. Mom's having me pick your ass up and me and Lou already agreed to go."

"I don't have my swimsuit packed."

"It's already packed."

"I don't have my prom stuff ready."

"We'll be back early tomorrow morning- giving you hours to prepare for the dance at fucking 6 pm."

I roll my eyes at his attitude, and his ability to read my mind with each excuse. Before he can nag me anymore, I hang my phone up and flush the toilet, in attempt to cover up my talking.

--

I sit in my desk waiting for Mr. Sanden to hurry his name calling. Its nearly 12 o'clock, and senior sign out is finally here.

Months ago I thought of this moment and became sad, leaving behind a chapter of my life that I had so much success with.

Now, I view this place as a mistake, something I cringe at as memories have become regrets.

High school was my biggest accomplishment, yet I ended it with one of my biggest mistakes.

I wont let this time define me, but I feel it isn't a great start to the future ive worked so hard for. Many say high school is the best 4 years of their lives, and that terrifies me.

I smile at the memories of me and Lou being overly involved, constantly studying and being known as a star student to teachers.

Whether I like it or not, Harry played a significant role in my life.

He brought excitement to each day, and anticipation for my afternoons. Everyday I would reminisce of the memories from the night before, until new ones were made.

I cant help but smile at these memories, but they eventually lead to the heart ache that ended the incredible cycle.

"Miss. Horan?" I jump to my name, and get a few giggles from surrounding students, sitting on tops of desks and in groups of conversation.

I give a shy smile, as I lead my may over to his desk.

"I cant lie when I say I'm sad to see my favorite student go." I smile, pushing my hair behind my ear as I bend over slightly, printing my name then signing next to it. I let out a deep sigh, wanting to take a picture of the unrealistic feeling.

"If you ever need anything, I'm just an email away. I'd be my pleasure to write another recommendation, or possibly catch up during one of your breaks." He stands, grabbing my hand and giving it a tight squeeze. His eyes squint and his mustache covers his mouth.

I cant help but get teary-eyed. I shake his hand, and nod my head to avoid talking, scared my voice will crack.

Some students give me weird looks, but I ignore them.

Mr.Sanden has been a great influence to me for years, and never hesitated to be there for me academically, and personally. I've worked with him a lot between NHS and being in one of his classes every year.

He is defiantly one of the things ill miss most about this place.

---

"Will you hurry your prissy ass up!" Niall doesn't care to scream this across the parking lot, giving little to no care to the faculty and family surrounding him. You would think he would want to be respectable, given he's suspended, but that's just my wonderful brother.

I rush over to the car, pushing him against the drivers door before jumping into the back of the low seated car.

Lou sits in the front, turning toward me to offer me a twizler. I accept, putting my headphones in to drown out the possible conversation between the two.

Car rides are my happy place, a time where I can blast my music and let my mind roam. It seems lately lyrics speak to me more, connecting to my current situation, or my internal feelings.

'So, if you ever need a fool

Who will give you a love so true

You can always find me where the skies are blue'

I cant help but grow annoyed, taking my headphones out, tying them around my phone and resting my chin on my hand.

"How much longerrrr." Lou is in a deep sleep, his head thrown back and mouth wide open. I cant help but smile, as he occasionally snores and licks his lips.

"About an hour." I sigh, leaning against the seat.

"Can I ask you something?" I lift my head, I guess since I was unexpecting my brother to speak much to me.

"Shoot." I chew on the skin around my nail, something I picked up as a child. It's such a bad habit, and by the raw skin around my fingers, it gives away I've been doing it a lot lately.

"You loved Harry, right?" I give him a glare, wanting to punch him in the face for even the question.

"Right, sorry. Well...how did you know? I know its stupid and probably the last thing you want to talk about but I'm freaking out. As if It wasn't bad enough that I like dick, but I'm feeling some shit that I haven't before..It's like when I'm around him, I can fucking breathe. My whole life has been about impressing others, and constantly trying to look like I had my shit better than anybody else. Around him, I feel I can be myself and not have to worry." He says all this as though hes in pain, but I know that's out of spite.

"That's how you know." I sit back, feeling almost jealous of my brothers ability to love somebody who loves him just as much.

"What do you mean?"

"The way you just spoke? The inability to feel you can breathe without that person? That's how you know. That's how I knew."

That's how I still feel.

By the sight smirk that's on Lou's "sleeping" face I know he heard what Niall said, but his secret is safe with me.


What do you think of Niall and Lou together? Do you think it'll last? Should it? Comment some things you want to see in the coming chapters!

Lots of love...xoxo

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