Dear || A 30-Day Letter for Kimura Ryouhei

July 30

Dear Kimura-san,

Happy 33rd birthday! I am telling the truth when I say that I am crying as I type the last entry. Don't tell anyone that I wrote this at 1am. Don't worry, though. You didn't do anything. It's my problem.

I wrote a fan letter for you last March 28, thanking you, but I don't know how to send it to you, so I'll just put it here and I hope that you will read this. Even just this entry, thank you.

Do you remember that line of yours from your song "Bokura no Egaku Mirai" with the rest of the Kiramune Stars? The "kimi no egao wo misete kureru kai?"? That one. I'm thankful for that line. For that song. And for that voice that saved me.

Because what happened was, that day was my friend's birthday. She used to be my best friend but due to things, our relationship became more pixelated that I can barely make up anything from it.

We had to go to school that day for clearance signing. In the morning, I went to school. My other classmates were there as well. But then, I think she forgot to tell me to come, because the next day, she asked me why I didn't come, so I didn't come. I'm the type of person who doesn't personally attend an occasion unless invited.

Feeling forgotten and unappreciated, I went home gloomy, and locked myself in my room. I opened my laptop and watched KiraFes clips to calm me down and cheer me up, but all was in vain. I removed my earbuds, got a nearby marker and started writing on my floor using it, in Hiragana. Writing things like "I'm sorry" "Thank you". Damn, I even sent my 2 girl best friends a "Thank you for everything," message.

Then, I sighed. I saw a knife I bought 3 years ago, and decided to do what I think was the right thing to do back then. Just as I was about to stand up and do it, I might have accidentally pulled out the earbuds from my laptop, and I heard your voice sing that line.

Then I stopped. That one single line made me think. Think a lot more. About my life, my family, my friends, and everything. And I decided to never try and think of ending my life again.

That's why, I'm really thankful I have known of you! Who knows, maybe if I didn't, this letter probably would have never existed!

That's why, I really owe my life to you, Kimura-san. Thank you.

My shirt is all wet, now. I mean, I have more reasons to cry rather than this one, but because I met you, I have 20x more reason to smile than my reasons to cry!

This is only the first part. I'm gonna post another one, later!

Yours Truly,
Jhae