Don't Ask About My Demons

No More Running

"Look, soldier! Look at your handiwork!" Zarkon's voice boomed.

Keith didn't dare look to the bodies at his feet. His hands were sticky and drenched in blood. He shook his head.

"Look!" A new voice shouted from beside him. He turned to find Haggar grinning with pride. "This is what power is! They were all beneath you! Them and that filthy traitor, Thace! Now they lie in their rightful place, at your feet!"

"No!" He backed away. "This isn't real! It's not real!" He tripped and fell onto his back, meeting the bloodied face of the deceased Lance. "It's not real!" He covered his face and screamed in anguish.

Keith sat bolt upright in bed, out of breath and with a pounding heart. He wiped the sweat from his brow. He rose to his feet, knowing that sleep would be impossible, and slipped on a shirt before stepping out into the corridor.
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There was a rapid knock on Lance's door. When Lance didn't answer, they began rapping on the door urgently. Lance rolled out of bed with a groan. It was obvious that this was important. He pressed the button to open the door.

"Keith?" Lance yawned and rubbed his eyes. What are you doing? It's so late... Keith? Holy crow! You're shaking!" He pulled Keith into his room and navigated him toward his bed to sit down. "Are you ok? Was it another nightmare? Do you wanna talk about it?"

Keith shook his head and hugged Lance close. "I-I'm fine..." Keith squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the visions out of his mind.

He hugged Keith back. "You don't seem fine. In fact... you haven't seemed okay since you got out of the cryopod... what's up?" Lance carded his fingers through Keith's hair in a comforting manner.

Keith opened his eyes in time to see the purple blotched creeping up his arm. He shook his head quickly. "It's nothing... nothing. I'm fine!" He raised his voice in growing hysterics. "I'm okay!" He tore himself away from Lance's arms and looked down at his hands. "I-I'm fine!" His hands were visibly shaking as the blotches of purple connected to turn his skin a pale shade of purple. He covered his eyes with clawed hands. "Please, just wake me up from this nightmare!"

Lance watched him with growing concern. "Keith...?" He asked gently.

Keith turned away from Lance.

"Does... does this have anything to with what happened when they captured you? Keith?" He placed a hand on Keith's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" He growled.

Lance jumped back as he was met with the Keith's glowing eyes. "I shouldn't have come here." He rose to his feet.

"Keith, no! Come back!" Lance closed the door just as Keith opened it. Keith tried the door again but Lance closed it once again. "Keith," Lance said calmly. He turned to Lance. "No more running, Keith. Not from this. This is who you are. It always has been and it always will be."

Keith pressed his hands against the door. "I want to leave. I can't be here." He said firmly.

"And go where?" Lance challenged. "You've gone away so many times. You should stay. If not for me... for Voltron."

Keith wiped his eyes. "I don't even know why I came here. I used to be so good at dealing with these things on my own." He glared at the door. "I've fallen apart, Lance. I don't even know who I am anymore." His eyes dropped to the floor.

Lance sighed. "Yeah... I've been there... I mean, I'm surrounded by such talented people. Next to all of you guys, I'm nothing."

Keith looked to Lance. "That's not--"

"--Keith." He placed both of his hands on Keith's shoulders and turned him around so they were facing one another. "You need to stop running from what really matters. I wasn't sure of myself... so I willingly fell into Haggar's trap. She let me see what I wanted to see... then she chipped away at the very essence of my being... she told me what I used to tell myself." He paused. "I realized then that I shouldn't let my own insecurities get in the way. There are more important things than personal glory. Every day I do my best. It's all I can do, really." He smiled reassuringly at Keith. "You're a fighter but, when it comes down to it, you'd rather run from yourself than understand who you are."

Keith considered his words.

"Hey, man." Lance's right hand moved up to cradle Keith's chin, pushing his head up ever so slightly to allow their eyes to meet. "Don't beat yourself up anymore."

Keith looked up at Lance, his eyes wide, and nodded his head.

Lance smiled. "I love you, Keith."

"I love you too, Lance." New tears trailed over old and he leaned close to hug him. "Thanks."

"You're not alone in this, Keith. Remember? I'll be here with you every step of the way."

"I don't see how we could all make it out alive. This is going to be bigger than any of us could ever imagine."

"Of course it is. And I know..." Lance agreed. "...It comes with the territory. But," he added. "If I die here, I could die happy knowing that I met you. If not now, then down the road when I'm old and grey."

"I won't let you die."

"Keith, you shouldn't be worrying about that right now. You're exhausted. I can't even begin to imagine the horrors you went through."

Keith shook his head in fear at the prospect of going back to sleep and seeing the visions again. "No!" He said quickly. "I'm not tired."

Lance cupped Keith's face in both hands and smiled reassuringly. "You can't fool me, mi amor. I can see right through you. You haven't had a proper night's sleep in ages; I can tell." He thought for a moment. "Hey, why don't you crash here with me. That way I'll be there if you get another nightmare."

The corners of Keith's lips turned up in a small smile and he nodded.

Lance smiled. "Come on, then." He took Keith's hand and lead him to the bed, pulling the covers aside for Keith to get under them. Lance joined him, pulling the blankets over them both and snuggling close to Keith. "Good night, mi amor." He leaned in close to press a gentle kiss to Keith's lips.

Keith couldn't help the small smile that played across his lips as he leaned in to steal another kiss from Lance who happily obliged. "Good Night, Lance." Keith intertwined his fingers with Lance's, listening to the steady breathing of the blue paladin. Their hands never separated, even after Lance drifted off to sleep. Keith watched Lance's serene features as he shifted closer to lay his head on Lance's chest. With the rhythmic beating of Lance's heart calming his nerves, Keith drifted off to sleep with a gentle smile.