Spring Break Disasters

Looking back at my spring break there are a few things I regret saying and doing. 2014 spring break was a dramatic disaster, and I honestly wish I could go back and change my mistakes and change what happened. I'll tell you one thing, this spring break didn't end up so pretty.

The main thing that caused all the drama was the argument my ex boyfriend and I had got into before school got out. This argument affected me so badly I couldn't sleep and I'd have nightmares about him and I dying and then us getting back together. As the week went by, the argument would keep getting worse. I tried calming down, yes, but every time I attempted too, I don't know why, but I'd freak out more. This argument kept eating at me because I wanted to tell his parents what was going on but he wanted to wait a little while longer. Holding this in was killing me, I felt like I couldn't escape from an everlasting nightmare. With this argument going on I'd get restless hours of sleep and I'd sleep three times a day for an hour or more.

When I'd wake up, I would run from home everyday and hide someplace where no one could find me and sit there and cry my eyes out until 9 'o'clock p.m. every night. I'd go over to my friends crying and I'd try getting some sleep over at her place. When my mom found out what was going on, she immediately took me over to my ex-boyfriend's to talk to his parents. With doing that, it only made matters worse and it still hurts me knowing that there are such cruel people out there that only think of themselves. He was starting to mess with my feelings. The argument was starting to cool down. Then he texted me " You have a strong heart, it's unbelievable actually, but you do." When he texted me saying those words, it confused me because I didn't know what he was trying to do. My response was " I have a strong and caring heart, I just gave you too much of it and got hurt." It took him awhile to respond because he knew I was right, then for awhile the drama settled down.

We didn't talk for a bit, I was glad we didn't, because it gave me some time to myself to think. When I was thinking I went back to all the times my friends told me he's just hurting me, especially if I would go to class crying because of him. From this experience that I got at such a young age I learned, that love does blind you and you don't realize it until the relationship is over. Now I know my caution when it comes to love I didn't think it could be possible. If someone ever asks me about advice for a relationship, I'll tell them all I know now. I'll shout it from the rooftops, and if I could I'd write in on the skylines. Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken and that all my scars are open, also falling out of love is hard but it only makes you wiser. All the talking him and I had would just turn into screams and when he texted me the argument turned into something far worse than it should have.

I was having enough of the drama and I called up my friend Naomi for her birthday to see if she wanted to hang out and do something fun. She came and picked me up and we went out and had fun. We went to Oaks Park and rode almost every single ride. We showed up a bit late but with the time we had left we still made a lot of fun out of it. I convinced her to go on a lot of rides with me, she told me I would never have gone on those rides if I were alone. Her saying that made me feel good about myself and I felt happy, the most happy I've felt in awhile.

If I could go back I would change this all around and try to make it better. But as of now I am going to try and leave it alone and make myself the better man and try to focus in on my own world, not others anymore. As of spring break 2014 I learned a valuable lesson, things don't always go according to plan. You'll get heartbroken, played, betrayed, and who knows you may feel replaced too. I also learned that the ones you care so dearly for are also the ones who hurt you more than others ever will.