Fix Me // Jamilton

Chapter 4: Discoveries and Kisses

AUTHORS NOTE: There's only Alexanders POV because I was not only too lazy to write a POV for Thomas but I didn't think I could develop a good storyline by rewriting it! That's all!!! Enjoy
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of anxiety, depression, suicide and self harm.

- ALEXANDERS POV -
I woke up the next morning at roughly 9. I went to bed at 2. That's a whole 7 hours. Not bad,considering in high school I stayed up until 4 writing and went to bed for an hour before getting ready for the day. Shuddering at the thought of high school, I pull myself out of bed and tie my hair, smiling and my note covered arm. Maybe I'll talk to my SoulMate tonight again.

I walked through the hallway to the small kitchen, where Thomas was making breakfast. The scent of bacon and pancakes grace my nose. I realize I'm hungry. I don't eat much but I sure will when the foods done.

I walk to the coffee machine and grab a mug on my way. It's gold with a black star and a man pointing at the sky. It's from the musical Miranda, about a founding father during Revolutionary War times. Thomas sees me walking to the machine and mumbles,

"G'morning Alexander. Sleep well?" Wow. His morning voice is hot. Wait, what? Am I-- screw it, I like Thomas Jefferson. Never thought I'd see the day.

"Yeah. Much more than usual. 7 whole hours. I'm used to, at most, 4." I reply, the smallest blush creeping on my cheeks. Thomas wouldn't love me. He hated me with a burning passion for years on end.

"Wow. What had you in such a sleep ridden mood, A?" A? Nickname. I sorta like it, coming from Thomas.

"Well, I talked with my SoulMate and whoever it was put me at ease and calmed me down into sleep mode I guess!" I tell him. I'm expecting something like 'Oh, cool!' Or a head nod but instead he almost drops his plate of pancakes.

"You talked to your SoulMate last night? I did too.. right after we got back?" I nod my head yes in realization. Could Thomas and I... be SoulMates?

"C-can I see your a-arm, Thomas?" I stutter, nervous about what I may find. I yank his sleeve up and before I look, he glances at me for permission to do the same. I nod, and we both have our arms out.

"One, two, three." Thomas says, and we look at each other's arms.

"I can't believe this." I say blushing.

"I'm sorry. I'm not good enough, I ruined your life, I led you to suicide and you were my SoulMate, Alex, I'm sorry, I really like you but I understand if you--" I cut him off my placing my hand over his mouth.

"Thomas. You are good enough. That was the past, you changed, I've changed, and you weren't the only thing that led to my suicide attempts. I should be the one apologizing because you had to see that panic attack and my cuts and I'm sorry!" I blurted most of it, my mouth moving 100 miles faster than my brain. I drop my hand to his and lead him to the couch, grabbing bacon, coffee and pancakes on the way.

I put Thomas across from me, so I'm sitting sideways on the couch facing him. I want to get to know him before we take things any further, like kissing or even things in the bedroom. I blush a little thinking about it. Glancing at Thomas, I set my mug and plate down and start asking him rapid fire questions about simple things.

"Favorite color? Food? Season? What's your birthday? Moms name? Do you have siblings?" I see him laugh at my questions. But he answers them all.

"Magenta. Macaroni and Cheese. Fall. April 13th. Jane. A sister, but she died at birth." He stares at the wall on the last one.

"I'm so sorry. What was her name?" I ask sadly.

"Lucy. Her name was Lucy. I was 5 years old. I was the last to hold her before she died. Not even in the world for 2 hours. I was already in love with her. She died due to premature birth." He spilled out. Now it was my turn to look away. But Thomas broke the silence by repeating my questions. I answered:

"Green. Caribbean chicken. Fall as well. January 11th. Rachel. My brother James, but he... he died too. In a hurricane back on Nevis." I don't really like talking about the hurricane. It's like high school.

"Alex, I know you're afraid of storms. Can you tell me what happened on Nevis so if you have a panic attack I know why?" Thomas asks me gently. I know I should tell him, but my breathing starts to quicken. I start talking anyways.

"I moved here at age 13 after the hurricane. My mother died when I was 12, and my dad left when I was 10. So all I had was James, my brother. The hurricane was unexpected. It hit pretty much all at once. The tiny shack James and I lived in collapsed while he was getting food. I was trapped inside. Water was everywhere.i almost drowned. I escaped though. I got out of the house and there were people, people everywhere. Bodies floating on the water. Kids crying. I couldn't save them. A storekeeper told me an hour later my brother died in the storm. I wrote and the people raised money to send me off to New York. Here I am, terrified of storms."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. Thomas looked at me on the verge of tears.

"Alexander, I-i didn't know.. your life has been a living hell. I made it worse. I'm sorry!" He cried, letting a few tears spill.

"Thomas, no! Don't cry, it was the past, remember, not now!" It made me sad to see my love cry. I embraced him and decided to take a leap of faith. I slowly leaned in, and pressed my lips to his.

Oh my God. His lips are so soft. And he was, oh my- he was returning my kiss.

I felt the wetness of our tears as I moved my lips against his. He teased me by biting my lip a little. I groaned a bit, granting him access to the inside of my mouth and putting my tongue into his. We were a tangled mess on the couch, making out intensely and groaning in harmony.

I pulled away, both of us gasping for air, and immediately wanted to dive back in.

"Alexanderrr... do you want to, you know, take this somewhere else?" He asked me, a lustful smirk on his face. I nodded, red faced and panting. He scooped my in his arms and carried me to his room throwing my on the bed.
AUTHORS NOTE: Cliffhanger!! Are they actually going to do the do? Am I going to write smut on my good Christian Wattpad? (Guys it's not good or Christian on here at all so probably yes I will lol). Next chapter will probably be smut, not too bad but be ready. It'll only be Thomas' point of view since Alex got a chapter of his own POV. Thanks for reading!!
Word Count: 1236 words