Faltering Steps • J-Hope

vi.

"It's bad," the doctor said simply.

Hobi swallowed. "How bad?"

"You'll heal. But it's going to take longer, and it won't be as clean." He looked at Hobi sternly. "How did this happen?"

"He was dancing," Yoongi said, glaring at Hobi.

"I told you not to!" the doctor said, shaking his head.

"But- I wanted to be useful-"

"I don't think you understand," the doctor said. "Before, you had a good chance at a perfect recovery. You could have gone back to dancing."

"But what?" Hobi asked, paling.

"But now I don't think you'll be able to dance again."

Yoongi froze. "What? What are you saying? He'll be fine, won't you? Tell me he'll be fine!"

"He's going to have a severe limp," the doctor answered. "He'll be able to walk. But not dance."

"No," Hobi whispered. "No, I'm going to be fine."

"You'll be fine. But with a limp."

Hobi looked up at Yoongi. "Yoo-"

"Save it. I- I need to think. And I need to talk to Namjoon" was all he said.

***

The car ride was silent. Every now and then, Hobi would try to start a conversation or just get Yoongi to talk to him, but Yoongi ignored him every time.

Finally, they pulled into the dorm.

"Namjoon," Yoongi called out, his tone flat. Angry. "Namjoon. Get out here."

After a few moments, a door opened and a grumbling Namjoon came out, clearly having been woken up. "What? Yoongi? Hobi? What's happening?"

"I caught him practicing by himself," Yoongi said, pointing harshly at Hobi, who hung his head.

Namjoon frowned. "Hobi, you shouldn't do that. You could get-"

"Hurt?" Yoongi interrupted. "He did. He fell on his leg. I had to take him to the hospital. We just got back."

"What?" Namjoon hesitated. "Is he okay?" He looked at Hobi. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fi-"

"He's not fine," Yoongi cut him off, not even bothering to look at Hobi, but he glared at Namjoon in his stead. "He did something to his leg, and the doctor says it won't heal perfectly now."

"What? What does that mean?"

"The doctor said Hoseok would have a limp, probably for the rest of his life," Yoongi said.

Hobi winced at hearing his full name come out of Yoongi's mouth. That meant he was angry. Really angry.

"He can't dance," Yoongi said, his voice quiet but charged with emotion.

Namjoon froze. "What do you mean, he can't-"

"He can't dance anymore. Or at least, not fluidly. He'll be limping. He won't be balanced. He won't be able to dance with us or perform with us or-"

"Stop," Hobi interrupted, turning slightly. "Don't- don't say that."

"You can't dance with us," Yoongi repeated, turning to face Hobi, who put his hands over his ears and shut his eyes.

"Don't say that!"

Yoongi ripped his hands away from his ears. "You can't dance with us anymore!"

Hobi's eyes watered, and he tried to hold back the tears that had been building up since the doctor had given him the news. He ripped his hands out of Yoongi's. "Shut up! I know! I know, Yoongi! You don't have to tell me! It was stupid of me to try to practice by myself and catch up to you guys! I know that!" He bit his lip hard to let the pain distract him from the urge to cry. "I know," he said quietly. "I'm stupid."

Yoongi just stared at him. "You can't dance with us anymore," he repeated simply, quietly. "How are we supposed to perform without you, Hobi?"

And that was how Hobi knew that Yoongi wasn't so much angry at him as angry for him, for the opportunity that he'd ruined for himself, albeit most of the blame went toward the accident. He forced a smile onto his face for Yoongi rather than himself. "You guys will find a way. Like you said. I'm not really that special. I have the "vibe," whatever that is, but it's nothing that can't be replaced. And you all can dance plenty. Well, maybe not Jin. But you don't really need me that much. I'm just an extra face, you know?" Hobi kept the smile on his face even as his eyes grew heavier with tears.

"You're not just an extra face. Don't say that," Yoongi muttered. "You're J-Hope."

"There's a lot of hope out there. You guys will just have to find some other one."

Namjoon smacked Hobi lightly on the head. "Shut up. You're being stupid. We aren't replacing you, and you aren't leaving."

"But, the producer will-"

"We'll figure something out. You just focus on healing up as best you can. But you're BTS now and you'll be BTS whether or not your leg is healed, and that isn't going to change."

Hobi nodded, but he still wanted to cry. Not just yet, not in front of his hyungs. Later, when he was alone. For now, though, he would go to sleep and try not to think about the future he'd shattered.