Faltering Steps • J-Hope

xviii.

Sehun followed Hobi into his room, and Hobi shut the door.

"So what's up?" Hobi asked.

Sehun hesitated. "I...I wanted to apologize..."

"So you're the one who stole Jimin's jams!" Hobi exclaimed.

"What? No."

"Oh. Nevermind. Go on then."

Sehun swallowed and looked down at Hobi's bad leg. Hobi noticed him staring and shifted, crossing his legs so his bad leg was hidden underneath his good one. He smiled.

"If you're wondering what happened, I just tripped yesterday and then I slept weird on it last night so it's kind of out of whack," Hobi said. He knew what could happen if he leaked the truth to a member of a popular idol group. Sehun might unintentionally say something, and then it would be everywhere.

"That's not..." Sehun began, trailing off before shaking his head. "If someone hurt you...but they didn't mean to hurt you...would you hate them?"

Hobi frowned, confused. "Where is this coming from?"

"Just...hypothetically."

Hobi tilted his head. "Then no? Taehyung smacked me in the face once but he said it was an accident and I forgave him. Or like the time when Jungkook switched out the shampoo for glue? He didn't mean to hurt me but the glue got into my eyes and I had to wash it out and my hair was sticking up all day and they had to cancel our photo shoot. Or like when Namjoon drove us to the mall to shop and then he left me there and Jin had to come back and pick me up? Joonie said he forgot me but that it wasn't on purpose. Or there was this one time when Yoongi fell asleep on my lap and then my legs went numb and I kept falling during practice..." Hobi looked up curiously, counting off all the times his friends had unintentionally wounded him. "So, yeah, no, I wouldn't hate someone for accidentally hurting me. Why?"

Sehun shifted uncomfortably. "What if...what if it was something more serious than glue in your hair or being slapped or forgetting you somewhere...like, what if you actually got hurt?"

Hobi frowned. "Well...yeah, I'd be upset, but...we all make mistakes right? Even I made a mistake once." He laughed. "But, I mean...it would hurt, but I think it would hurt the other person more? Because I feel guilty if I accidentally hurt Jungkook or Jimin or Tae or any of them, and even if they tell me it's okay, that it was just an accident, I still feel awful."

"But what if this was something so bad that you couldn't forgive them?" Sehun pressed.

"So had that I couldn't forgive them...?" Hobi frowned, his eyes turning sad. "I don't know...I want to think I'd be able to forgive them because forgiveness is a two-way street." Hobi interrupted his deep discussion to add in car noises before continuing. "Like by forgiving someone else, I can put myself at peace too because I'm not hanging onto it anymore."

Sehun nodded and took a deep breath. "Then...I have something to confess-"

"No! I'm sorry! I can't accept your feelings!" Hobi said. "I'm straight! I'm into girls!"

"No that's not what I meant!" Sehun flushed, shaking his head. "I wanted to tell you that I-"

The door opened, cutting Sehun off. Taehyung saw Sehun and immediately went up to him and punched him.

Sehun fell back against the wall, shocked. Then he saw Jimin behind Taehyung and he covered his head with his arms.

Jimin frowned. His eyes were tearing up. "I'm not going to hit you. I don't want to hurt you. I just..." He looked like he didn't know what he wanted.

"Of course you're not going to hit him, and what the hell Tae?" Hobi asked, frowning at the alien. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because this is the guy who hurt you!" Tae yelled, scowling at Sehun.

"What?" Hobi asked, looking between Tae and Sehun.

"He's the one who got us into the car accident! He's the other driver! He's the reason you can't dance!"

Jimin put a hand on Tae's shoulder. "Tae..."

Tae shrugged the hand off.

Hobi stared at Sehun. "Sehun...? Is that true...?"

Sehun hesitated before nodding and bowing low. "I was going to apologize...I was going to tell you myself...I was just scared..."

Hobi was quiet. "Is this why you asked me all those questions?"

Sehun nodded, ashamed. "I wanted to know how you'd react. If you'd hate me. If you'd blame me." He looked over at Tae, flinching. "But I swear I was going to tell you. I was just working up the courage."

Hobi remained quiet.

"Hoseok?" Sehun asked quietly.

He was silent.

"Please," Sehun said, his voice rough and uneven. "Talk to me. I need to know what you're thinking."

"I..." Hobi swallowed, staring at the ground. "I've thought about this moment a lot. I didn't know it was you, of course, but I thought about the moment itself. What I'd say. What I'd do. And now that's it's here..."

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