The Anomaly Affliction

Eight

'This is it.'

That's the one thought that repeats in my head as I drag my weary body out of bed.

This is it. This is it. This is it.

Today is the day that will change my life forever. For better or for worse? I have no idea. All I know is that this is it, and I can't get out of it.

As I head downstairs, I'm greeted by Mum making me a warm breakfast of a thick pancake with lots of syrup. She's washed the blood off her face now, although it's like I can still see it.

"Good morning Violet," she says when she notices me in the kitchen.

"Morning," I reply.

I sit at the dining table and enjoy the smell of breakfast.

"Are you excited?" Mum asks, beaming.

"For my vaccines?" I enquire, knowing full well that that's what she's referring to.

"Of course."

No.

"Um...yeah," I lie. "It'll be good."

I guess there's no point in telling the truth if nothing's going to change.

"Good." She serves me the pancake. "We need to be at the hospital in an hour."

After breakfast, I go back to my room and get dressed. I feel...at a loose end. I want to see Lake one more time before I get vaccinated, or at least talk to her. I won't have time to go to her house, spend time there, come back and then go to the hospital with Mum if I want to be on time to my vaccines, which I need to be. Still, the thought of getting vaccinated without speaking to Lake today doesn't feel right.

I get my phone and call her.

"Hey," she says when she picks up, sounding slightly confused.

"Hey," I say back.

"You okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I just...I wanted to talk to you one last time before I get vaccinated."

There's a slight pause. "Okay."

"I need to be there in an hour."

"Okay." Another slight pause. "You know it's not going to change anything, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"You sound like you're about to get a lethal injection or something."

I might as well be.

I really need to stop thinking stuff like that.

"Yeah," I sigh. "I guess I do sound like that."

"You're not gonna die, Violet. Okay?"

Lake's right. I'm not going to die. It's not the end of the world. It's just a few injections and then I can resume my life as normal. And be happy.

...Right?

"Okay."

"So..." Lake pauses. "What did you want to say?"

In that moment I realise that I have no idea what I wanted to say to her. Why did I even call her? She was probably having a nice morning and I've probably just ruined it.

"...I don't know," I say. "I guess I just...wanted to hear your voice. Before I go."

"Violet, please stop talking like you're going to die. It's making me nervous."

All of a sudden I feel really silly, like I've just made a huge fool of myself. I want to hide away and curl up so no one has to see me or talk to me. Why did I call Lake today? It was a pointless idea. I'm so stupid.