The Anomaly Affliction

Twenty One

Over the next few weeks, we seem to establish a routine.

I help the group as much as I can with hunting, cooking and gathering supplies. After the first week or so, I stop flinching at the sight of a knife plunging into a fox's body. Harrison tells me I'm the best hunter they have, because I'm "quicker than the oldies".

Cage and Nova get on pretty well with me, Harrison looks out for me, Vic accepts me and X...well, he tends to keep to himself. But that's okay.

With each day that passes, I start to think more and more about Lake. And the more I think about her, the more I miss her, and the guiltier I feel for putting her in a position where she hasn't seen or heard from her girlfriend in weeks. Going to sleep doesn't feel right without sending her a goodnight text. Being out here doesn't feel right when I know she's alone in Nacoma. She has friends, of course, but most of them are vaccinated and probably lack sympathy. I can't imagine how she's feeling. What if it was the other way round? What if she'd run away and all I knew was that she was wanted by the Government? I wouldn't have heard from her in weeks, I wouldn't even know if she was alive or dead. I wouldn't be able to contact her because it would put both of us in danger. The President's Speeches would be my only way of knowing if she'd been found, but only if Curtis chose to share that information.

I would be tearing my fucking hair out.

I think of her all the time...it almost drives me crazy. And eventually it leads me to one single thought:

"I need to get back to Nacoma."

Silence.

"You what?" Harrison frowns at me over the fire.

I look around the group. Everyone looks a little shocked. I didn't think I'd said anything particularly outlandish, but maybe this - being out here with this group - never seemed like a permanent arrangement to me.

"You might think it's crazy," I say.

"Oh, I know it's crazy," Harrison corrects. "Violet, do you know how wanted you are? Your name and your face have been in every single President's Speech since you left Nacoma. You'll be hunted. And what if they find you? Fuck knows what they'll do to you."

"Then I'll have to make sure they don't find me."

"And how are you going to do that?" Vic chimes in. "Become invisible?"

"Start living underground?" Harrison adds.

"Look," I interrupt. "I know, okay? I know. I know they'll be looking for me and I know I'm the most wanted person in Nacoma right now and I know how risky it is. But...I need to go back."

"Why?" frowns Vic. "What's so important in Nacoma that you're willing to risk your life to get back to it?"

I sigh and look into the fire. I can almost see her feeling hopeless with no knowledge of my whereabouts or my safety.

"It's your girl, isn't it?" Nova asks.

I look at her and nod.

Harrison rubs his brow and sighs.

"Figures," he mumbles.

There's a strange tone to his voice - he almost mutters the word, like he's quietly insulting me.

"Why do you sound disappointed?" I have to ask.

He sighs again. "I'm not," he says. "I just...I wish I'd been like you when I first landed up out here."

All the bitterness in his voice fades away, leaving sadness in its place.

"I wanna see my girl again. And my baby. I have a twenty-six-year-old daughter and I've never even seen her. I know that's not what you're meant to do when you're a teenager, but we were too drunk to handle the condom properly and it was an accident. But we stuck with it, because we were in love. And then I got arrested because I was stealing things that we could sell to get money for buying baby things. I don't know what she looks like, her interests, what she knows about me. The only things I know about her are her name, and..."