I'm going to get bashed for this, but someone needed to say it. You's all look ridiculous, not cool. Honestly, I don't know why you all think you look so amazing and tough when really, everyone stays away from you because you look shifty, not scary.
Your trousers; Pull them up. Nobody wants to see your boxers. It's not considered cool to have the whole school getting full vision of your underwear. You're all man-whores. Society says no to sluts. And really, with your pants that far down your legs, that's honestly what you are. Pull them up and stop being such douches. If someone particularly wants to see your ass, I'm sure they'll ask you or make it quite clear. Until then, please cover up. It's disturbing and makes me laugh.
'Swag'; You got swaggah, bro? Yeah, bro, mah swag brings in da bitches. NO. YOU DON'T HAVE THIS 'SWAG' YOU SPEAK OF. You have a mental disability that prevents you from seeing how stupid you look. What the fuck is swag? Is it some kind of brain disease? If so, I'm so sorry. I hope you recover from your swag as soon as possible. So gangsters, I got all technical and shit and brought out the dictionary just to make sure I was right. And according to Heinman, a 'swag' is a small one-man tent commonly used for camping. So, my dear gangsters, I'd just like to inform you that if you'd like to camp, please go to an actual campsite or caravan park or something. Take your swag with you and have all the swag fun you want. But for now, I'm pretty sure there are camping restrictions at school. Swag up elsewhere.
Snapbacks; Okay, I'm not going to be a huge hypocrite. I admit, I wear snapbacks. All the fucking time, really. But not because I think they look gangster and cool and stuff. But because I think they're comfy and I feel incomplete without one on my head. All you little gangsters that wear snapbacks simply because it looks 'esh', need to wake up to yourselves. If you have skin cancer or something, by all means, go the fuck ahead and wear a snapback; wear seven. Wear as many as you want. If you're wearing one for skin protection from the sun, then I have absolutely no qualms with you. But if you're one of those guys that wear them in class disrespectfully then I'd appreciate if you burnt your snapback. I hate it when I'm in class and I can't see the fucking board because of your fucking hat. Like, dude. Take it off. Wearing hats indoors is bad luck or some shit; take them off.
Eshays; WHO THE FUCK INVENTED THAT NAME? I, for one, feel stupid using the word 'eshay' or 'esh'. Whoever made it up is a complete eshay, and by eshay I mean fuckwit. Okay, so it's meant to mean gangster or something. But it sounds like a toilet brand. Dude, if you're brave enough to call yourself a toilet brand, then I suppose you are tough. Bravo to you. Might I just add that you look and sound completely stupid, but hey, that's just me.
Lads; Gangsters in Australia nowadays are being referred to as 'lads'. Now, the last time I checked, lads were what the English referred to as polite boys or something. Isn't the whole concept of being gangster to not be a good boy? And if that's so, doesn't the whole 'lad' thing contradict whatever you're standing for? So really, you're an illiterate sillypants. Oh my, you make me laugh.
So yeah. I admit, I wear vans and snapbacks and hoodies and whatever else. I admit. But only because they're comfy and warm and nice and lovely and shit. Not because they're cool. Because they're not cool. They're just clothes and hats. I don't consider clothing or hats as cool. They're just things. Things aren't cool. People are. But only people who aren't fake and people who don't follow trends to fit in. So my dear gangsters, pull up your pants; get off your high horse and figure out who and what you are. Then we shall talk.
Much love.
