Can't Afford Mistakes.

Chapter Thirteen

Arabella.

There's an old wise tale that twins can sense each others pain. That when one is in danger, pain, or great sadness, the other can physically feel their pain. I have never believed it to be true until today. Looking into Lucas's eyes and hearing his voice break as he told us why he had killed our parents, I could feel the stabbing pain in my chest everytime he spoke a word. I could feel how sorry he was and how desperately he wanted to right his wrong.

"Guys, can you give us a minute," I ask politely, turning to Brett and Sadie. They both look to each other and nod.

Once at the door, Brett speaks up, "Hey maybe we can catch up on all this frog drama before it's too late."

"I never want to see a frog ever again," Sadie says sounding almost disgusted, "not even if he's Prince Charming."

I suppress my laughter, but it comes out as a snort instead. The door clicks behind them and I look down at my older brother, completely broken in my arms. His weight becomes too much, so I slowly guide us down to the floor.

I sit with my legs to the side as Lucas buries his head in my shoulder. I run my fingers gently through his hair trying to soothe him. His tears stop and his sobs turn to rapid attempts to fill his lungs with air. He pulls back and looks at me through his red, swollen eyes.

"Why," is all Lucas can manage to speak.

"Because I can feel how sorry you are & how much you want to change," I say gently, taking his large hands in my small ones. "And because you're my brother, my only family left. You were being exploited, but you still tried to protect me."

"Afterwards, I was so mad at myself for letting you see it. I thought, I'm your older brother, I should've planned someway around it, but I couldn't think straight," Lucas says, retracting his hands back towards his body.

"Lucas, you don't have to explain. I forgive you, for everything," I reassure him softly.

"I need to do this Arabella," he mumbles. "But then my anger at myself flipped to you. I thought about how if you would have listened, you wouldn't have seen it. And the more I thought of you, the more I thought of mom and dad. I had all this built up hatred, I exploded. I lashed out at you, thinking that if you were just as miserable as I was, it would bring me peace, but it never did.

I started working for that same gang again. That's where I met Ryan. We protected the members from any danger they were in and settled their scores for them. I was no more than a pawn in their own twisted game. Ryan left two years ago, saying he couldn't live with such a guilty conscience. I left to come back to you."

I stare at my twin, not knowing what to say. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. A sudden feeling of shame washes over my body. Lucas came back for me, and I tried to kill him.

"I'm sorry I choked you earlier," I say just above a whisper. Lucas lifts his head and a smile makes his way onto his face.

"You really thought you were choking me," he laughs.

My eyes go wide as I stare at him, "You mean, you were fake struggling when I was on top of you?"

"Even held my breath so my face would turn blue. But hitting me with the walkway light was uncalled for," Lucas smirks while rubbing the side of his head where I had hit him.

I grab a stray pillow on the floor and hurl it at Lucas's face. He catches he pillow with ease and throws it to the side.

"For someone who wasn't into the Barbie and other girly things, your room looks like a teenage girl threw up in here," Lucas says looking around the room.