near and far | hemmings

Chapter 13

'Just breathe, Finley.'

'Breathe.'

'Breathe.'

'Breathe.'

I can't help, but feel nervous standing in front of Luke's door on this chilly Monday afternoon. The weather was getting colder and being without a jacket didn't help my situation. I quickly check my watch-3:12 pm, he should be home by now. I didn't bother going in since I've been busy packing and my credits aren't going to transfer over anyway so, why bother? 'Jesus, Finley just do it.' the little voice in my head says, continuing to pester me.

Right when I raise my fist to the door, it opens and a long arm grabs me by the waist, pulling me inside. I can't help but smile into the kiss he envelopes me in and giggle when he peppers kisses all over my face, leading down my neck. 

"Where-have-you-been?" he inquires, in between kisses. 

"Long story." I smile, sadly. Before he could ask if I wanted to talk about it, I catch his lips with my own. After about 15 minutes of kissing and smiling and laughing, I decide that it's time. God, I don't want it to be. 

"luke." I say, trying to pry his lips off on my neck, "luke, this is important."

"What's wrong? Is this about last week?" He asks, rubbing my back gently. 

I nod and start with my long explanation, "My mom, uhm, passed away. Don't be all sad for me because I'm kinda done with being sad about it for now, to be honest. But the big thing is that the lawyers found out that my brother, who was my legal guardian while she was in care, attends college so he can't technically take care of me. And so the next in line to take me in is my Aunt Linda who lives in New York." I ramble. 

"New York?" He asks softly, only to be greeted by a nod from me. "Oh. Wow. When are you leaving?" 

"3 days." I whisper back. 

"Oh. Well, it was nice to see you." he smiles softly, making his way to the door. 

"No, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." I say, grabbing his hands in my own and sit down on the bed, beginning to trace the lines of his enormous palms. "I really like...whatever this is." I admit, looking him in the eye, "and I don't know how it would work, but I'd like to have a go at it if you wanna. I'm not pressuring you into anything and I'm gonna let you have time to think about it, but yeah." I blurt out hopefully.

"Okay" He responds simply, shrugging his shoulders and kissing me on the cheek. I didn't expect him to answer right away, but I didn't think that he would be so casually about it. 'You can't blame him, Finley. Its a big decision.' the voice in my head reminds me. 

"so, I'm gonna go. I have some other stuff to do before we leave, but just call me before then if you made up your mind. If you don't, I get it." I say quickly, ignoring the burn of his rejection and placing my phone number on the table. 'It's not rejection' she says in my mind. She's right, there's still hope.

"Wait, hold on." He sighs, grabbing my hand and spinning me around to face him. Before I could refuse, his lips find mine and work against my own. "Is this goodbye?" he breathes, after we break apart. 

"maybe, maybe not. It all depends." I respond, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. "Call me." I smile and make my way out of the small cottage, forcing myself not to look back and feeling a tear slide down my cheek at the thought of that being goodbye. 

It was a good goodbye. Simple, yet sweet. Most would be content with a goodbye such as ours, but I was not. I didn't want it to be a goodbye and the way he didn't make his mind up then or chased after me, honestly, pissed me off. But I'm just being picky, wanting us to be some sort of Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo. However, as perfect as that might've been, it's not logical or reasonable. 

I was probably just overplaying our 'situation' or whatever by a mile. I bet he just wanted to hook up or something. God how could I be so stupid? He would never want to be in a relationship like that. 

~

I fell asleep that night with my phone clutched to my chest, waiting for a response that hasn't and probably will never come.

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Hope you guys liked this one a bit better than the last one! Please let me know what you guys think, it really helps me!