Our Broken Fairytale (Frerard)

"the beginning"

Gerard hadn't had the easiest life, in fact, there was a point when he seriously considering ending his existence before it had a chance to do him any more harm than it already had.

But in moments like these, when Frank would wrap his arms around him and place a gentle kiss to the top of his head, Gerard was so fucking thankful that he hadn't given up, that he had somehow found Frank after years of suffering. It was as if the universe had led him into Gerard's path in the way of an apology for all of the horrors he had been through.

"I'm gonna go shower, I want you upstairs when I'm done," Frank murmured lowly, waiting for Gerard's nod of affirmation before walking away, his hands pulling at the buttons of his shirt as he went.

Gerard stared after Frank fondly, knowing that he had about thirty minutes before Frank would be finished washing up. He always took so long in the shower, which was something Gerard didn't understand. His own hatred of the act led him to spend as little time under the stream of water as possible, unless Frank was in there with him that was.

But Frank hadn't asked him to join him this time, so Gerard reclined back onto the sofa, only half paying attention to The Office which he and Frank had been watching together earlier.

A strange sense of nostalgia overtook him as his eyes became unfocused and blurry, probably caused by the fact that it was almost a year ago to the day when Frank and Gerard's relationship had started.

That seemed so long ago now, that was back when Gerard had been terrified of everything and everyone before Frank managed to show him that there was still good in the world if he only looked hard enough.

If someone had told the past version of Gerard that he would one day be in a happy, loving dom/sub relationship, he would have laughed in their face, hell - he never imagined he would even be able to find a man that wanted to date him at all.

He didn't think that anyone would be able to look past all of the baggage he carried with him, or take the time to actually try to help him bear it, but Frank had - Frank did, and fuck - Gerard was so fucking grateful to him for being there just when he needed him most, for healing the old wounds on his heart which were finally beginning to disappear.

~~~

Gerard's life had resembled a cliché sob story from the beginning, starting with his mother passing away in childbirth, leaving his father with a son that he could barely stand to look at without being reminded of the woman that he had killed with his entrance into the world.

Even at a young age, Gerard was aware that his father didn't treat him the way his classmates' parents did. He didn't greet him with a hug when picking him up from school - in fact, he forced Gerard to ride the bus as soon as he was able to - he didn't attend any of his plays, he didn't take Gerard fishing, or teach him how to ride a bike, or anything really.

In general, his father seemed dead set on pretending that Gerard didn't exist, which in hindsight was much better than the alternative.

But as unhappy as Gerard was when his father turned a blind to his presence, he found himself yearning for those days once he grew into his teenage years.

He then realized that his father was doing more than just wounding Gerard mentally in his free time, he was also destroying himself by drinking large amounts almost every evening, losing job after job, barely being able to pay the bills with what was left of Gerard's mother's life insurance. He was basically running himself into the ground without any attempt at stopping his downward descent.

Gerard's father was a shell of a man, and as much as Gerard hated him, especially when he began knocking Gerard around occasionally, he also felt as if he deserved the abuse.

This was all his fault after all, at least, that was what he had been raised to believe, and the falsity was too deeply ingrained in his mind to ever leave by this point. Each punch and slap enforced that until Gerard began to despise himself even more than he did his father.

Gerard stopped trying to compare himself to his classmates at that point, because they weren't like him, they were good people, and so they had lives which reflected that. Gerard no longer wished to be taken away by a loving family that would provide him with everything he had been missing out on.

That fantasy had been ground under his father's heavy heel, so now Gerard accepted whatever came his way, hiding his bruises the best that he could and holding back tears when his father would scream obscenities in his face, his liquor coated breath filling Gerard's nose and causing him to gag more than once.

But he kept a straight face through it all, never letting on to the fact that he was slowly dying inside.

* * *

I'm so excited to be reposting this as a proper story it's actually a bit ridiculous but I love the idea of having this stand out on its own and not getting buried in my other oneshots.

This chapter is quite short but some will be about this length while others will be longer. It just depends on where I feel that it needs to be cut off.

Thank you so much for being here whether you are a repeat reader or this is your first time.

Chapter dedicated to BrokenBlush

((((excited vibes))))

- starr